Conquests of an Accidental Stud Monkey
by Darkenning
Summary: "How are you doing that, Negi-kun?" "Doing what? ... oh." How will Negi's new circumstances change his fate? Diverges from canon immediately post magical world arc. Lemon, Harem, Yuri, all that good stuff.
1. Chapter 1

Mahou Sensei Negima _was created by Akamatsu Ken. This is parody, protected speech._

**Conquests of an Accidental Stud Monkey  
Chapter One**

Later - much later, when she had a far clearer picture of what had actually happened than anyone could possibly have when they were going through the situation - Natsumi came to the simple conclusion that the whole thing was Makie's fault. She never shared this opinion with anyone, least of all Yue, who had similarly worked things out but come to a completely different conclusion - specifically, that it was all Iinchou's fault. (It was probably for the best that she never shared that notion with Natsumi, either; for various reasons, Natsumi was much more inclined towards sympathy for Ayaka than Yue would ever be.)

Had anyone thought to ask Makie whom she was inclined to blame, she'd have just blinked in abject and ridiculously cute confusion. The notion of blame implied anger, and she had no reason to be angry at anyone. What had happened was a good thing all around. If she'd been asked, then, whom she was inclined to praise for what had happened, she would cheerfully assigned all responsibility to Negi himself.

He would have been embarassed by that. It's probably best that nobody ever asked.

Be that as it may, Natsumi would also develop an opinion on just when it had begun, and here she was more or less in tune with Yue. (Not so much Makie, who took the position that things had started much later.) In their view, the whole thing had begun when the three of them were seated on the hillside along with a stack of books that was not _quite_ as tall as Yue, pleasantly jawing about how nice it was to be back in Japan and on Earth, but how things weren't quite as happy as they might have been otherwise.

It was very soothing, for all the strangeness. Natsumi had never really spent a lot of time with either of these girls, and apparently they'd never spent a lot of time with each other. That had really surprised her when she'd learned about it; she'd had the impression that the various members of the Baka Rangers were all really close friends, but apparently that was not the case. Nonetheless, what they'd been through had all bonded them. Which was nice.

And then Makie, somewhat out of nowhere, had declared, "The next time we see Negi-kun, we'll have Yue-chan confess her love to him!"

Yue's immediate reaction to this declaration had been to nearly cough herself to death as the frankly unspeakable beverage she was drinking went down the wrong tube. Natsumi had just flushed brightly.

"What, what, what - no, what?" Yue said after a moment. "Where did this come from?"

"I did it!" Makie proclaimed.

"How does that _even remotely_ follow from what I asked?"

"When?" Natsumi asked, for this seemed to her mind the far more important question.

"Why are you encouraging her?" Yue gasped.

"Eh?" Makie said, giggling coquettishly. "You wanna know? Really? Welll ... you see, there was this one time, when Negi-kun told me I was amazing, you see, and -"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Yue-chan, it was wrong of me," Natsumi apologized, looking away.

"So now it's your turn, Yue-chan!" Makie assured her, making Natsumi wonder why her neck didn't break doing that mood shift.

"Why is it my turn?" Yue asked. "There are numerous girls who could confess their loves first!"

At that moment, Natsumi noticed two things. First, there was a rustling noise coming from the bushes not far from where they were sitting. Secondly, there were bushes not far from where they were sitting. _Wait,_ she thought, _wasn't this a grassy slope when we sat down a few minutes ago?_

Before she could vocalize that thought, holding a pair of branches in either hand, Nodoka burst up from her camouflage and proclaimed, "I agree with Maki-chan!"

"Gyaaaah!" went all three of the girls she'd just startled with her uncharacteristically aggressive entrance.

"Pst!" Nodoka said to Natsumi and Makie, gesturing for them to get closer and then speaking _sotto voce_. "Yue was so worried about everybody else, you see, that she never wanted to tell Negi-sensei how she feels ... but I think if she does that, she'll get all her memories back, and then not do anything crazy like running off to Ariadne after graduation!"

"Nodoka, what are you telling these two?" Yue, who could hear what was being said quite clearly, asked in an increasingly panic-stricken tone.

"We'll help you, Yue-chan!" Makie assured her. "Do it! Confess your love!"

"This is the most illogical thing I've ever heard!"

"I quite agree," said a cool, quiet voice from just behind them, which sent chills running up all four of their spines. "And I hope that realization of its illogic will help convince you to refrain from suh actions."

They whirled. Standing there, not ten feet away from them, was the terrifying figure of their substitute teacher and former nemesis - well, perhaps not so former, at that - Fate Averruncus, regarding them with the same grim and unsmiling expression he nearly always had. Instantly, Makie, Nodoka and Yue went into defensive postures. Natsumi would have done so too, if she hadn't been terrified beyond rational thought.

After a moment to let his first words sink in, though, Fate simply continued speaking. "Negi-kun is currently hard at work on his plan to save the world. He does not have time for simple things like eating and sleeping, let alone your silly girlish games. He bears the weight of the world on his shoulders, and no one who cannot share that burden should have anything to do with him." A brief pause. "In other words, girls, he's mine, all mine, and you should give up on him."

Sheerest shock at the blunt statement was the only expression to be seen on any of the girls' faces. (As it happened, there was a certain measured amount of relief that Haruna wasn't here to hear that statement in Nodoka and Yue's minds, but it was drowned out by shock.)

"I will permit you to go on living your silly little lives," Fate said, looking up in the sky. "But stay the heck out of his way ... oh, look, speak of the devil."

And then, like an angel descending from the sky, Negi rode his wand down to where they were standing, looking genuinely happy to see everyone present. "Girls!" he said. "What a pleasant surprise. I managed to get done with the other job early today. Still, I'm sorry that I haven't been able to see any of you at school recently. To make up for it, would you like to join me for some tea?"

"Uh," they chorused, glancing from him to Fate and back again.

Coughing slightly for no apparent reason, Fate interposed. "Just a moment, Negi-kun?"

"Hm? Something wrong?"

"As it happens, yes. The process of acquiring the materials for the elevator have been dogged by difficulties, and -"

"That's terrible! What's the problem now?"

"Well, you see ..." Fate continued to explain as he gently led Negi away from the girls.

"... that guy is going down," Makie proclaimed quietly, yet firmly.

* * *

A little ways away, Negi finally frowned. "Fate," he said. "I'm pretty sure that we resolved these problems earlier this week."

"Would you believe that they've recurred?"

"why are you expressing it as a question?"

"Would you believe -"

"Fate," Negi groaned, annoyed. "Did you really just invent a problem just to drag me away from the girls in my class?"

"My class," Fate said smoothly.

"Our class," Negi offered as a compromise.

Fate looked annoyed at the compromise, but nodded acceptance, both of the statement and its implications.

"Why did you do that?"

"I have no hobbies, and very few interests. Messing with those entitled young women is one of them. Would you deny me that tiny bit of fun?"

All that Negi could do was shake his head and resolve not to be so readily swayed by Fate's schemes in the future. That resolution was what Makie would have stated was the true turning point. Which was absurd, of course, and no one would ever have believed that.

Certainly not Negi. After all, if his resolution was so important, how then to explain the way that, just a few days later, he was where he was, in an age-shifted disguise, accompanying Kotaro and Fate (both similarly age-shifted, with the latter pretending to be someone named _Fidius_ Averruncus) on an expedition to a karaoke box with the cheerleader trio? He'd gotten pulled into yet another scheme, almost immediately, and all that he could do was hope that he'd be able to interfere with it when it reached fruition.

Well, that and discover that he had absolutely no talent for karaoke. Not that he cared about his score, after all. Still, it all made him sigh a litte.

"Is something the matter, Nagi-san?" asked Misa, as she bent over to hand him a drink and - posssibly accidentally, but mmmmmaybe not - give him a good look at her cleavage.

"Um, no, no, it's just ... um, thank you, this will definitely, um, yes," Nagi stammered as he felt his skin turn bright red while accepting the drink.

It was one thing to accept, as he'd basically had no choice _but_ to accept, that several of the girls in his class viewed him not as a teacher and friend, but as a prospective romantic partner. (He thought of the way Akira-san had patiently broken the news to him, and almost sighed again.) It was quite another to have someone clearly trying to attract his interest, particularly now, when he was in a state where he was much more conscious of that interest than he might have been. It was a little disturbing, particularly since he had no idea whether this was a serious attempt on Misa's part or not. He really wasn't sure what she was thinking.

Misa was thinking, more or less, _He's so pure for such a hottie! It's adorable! I don't know whether I want to protect him, or whether I want to throw him to the ground and perform incredibly lewd acts on his person! It's just like with Negi-kun, if he were bigger! I wonder if he's bigger everywhere?_

Abruptly, an unaccustomed sense of shame filled the soul of Kakizaki Misa. _Wait, no. This is wrong! He was dating Ako, wasn't he? I was rooting for them! I couldn't just, after they've broken up ... but they have broken up, right, so there isn't really any problem ... but no, no, I should talk to Ako first, find out if she's okay with it -_

"Nagi" let out a small chuckle. "Well, I think I've had the wrong idea about you, Kakizaki-san. I was a little uncomfortable before, but watching you go through all those facial expressions has been very endearing. You're actually a lot of fun to be with!"

After a brief, timeless interval of purest void in her thoughts, Misa's consciousness returned with a simple decision. _Screw you Ako, I'm going for it!_ "Nagi-san, this might sound a little abrupt, but -

On the other side of the room, Sakurako had been cheerfully airing her many, many grievances with Fate to his 'older brother, Fidius', while he listened with a patient, gentle smile. "Well, I'll be sure and give him some feedback on the subject," he assured her.

"You're so cool!" Sakurako squeed. "Um, Fidius-san -"

At that moment, the door to the booth was flung open, and Madoka, who'd gone to the rest room a few moments ago, entered almost at a run, saying, "Oy, Kojirou-kun -"

"- would you go out with me?" the three cheerleaders chorused.

"Eh?" said 'Nagi'.

"Ehhh?" said 'Kojirou'.

"Timed this rather well, I think," said 'Fidius', checking his watch.

The room was filled with a cloud of smoke and a strange popping noise. When the smoke cleared, a number of the people inside it now looked rather different from the way they had a moment earlier.

"Ahem," said Fate, now wearing a suit far too large for his petite frame. "Your commentary on my teaching style is not appreciated, Shiina-san. Furthermore, it is strictly forbidden for students in my class to enter recreational facilities after six o'clock in the evening. The three of you will be attending remedial lessons, starting tomorrow, unless your regular teacher should -" Saying so, he turned to look at Negi, and broke off.

After a moment, he resumed speaking. "Negi-kun, how are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" 'Nagi' asked, then looked down at his still adult form, and murmured a confused, "Oh."

His murmur was somewhat drowned out by the notes of protest and dissatisfaction with which two of the three cheerleaders greeted these developments.

"Wah!" declared Sakurako, tears streaming from her eyes. "Fate-kun is so mean!"

"You can't do that Fate-kun!" Misa added, genuine outrage in her voice.

"Yes, I am, and yes, I can," Fate alternatively agreed and contradicted, smiling faintly, before turning his attention back to Negi. "Do you mean to tell me that you didn't do this deliberately?"

"I don't think so," Negi said, still studying his hands with a confused expression. "I don't even know ... I don't know _how_ I'd do this, I've never studied the age changing pills and how they work in any detail, so ..." He trailed off, beginning to look just a bit concerned.

"A-age-changing pills?" Madoka stammered out from where she was still standing in the doorway. "Then - then, what, Fidius-san is Fate-kun, and, and Nagi-san is ... Negi-kun?" she asked, head moving from the boy to the "man".

"Yes, that's what I was trying to tell you, about why I got dumped," said a quiet voice from behind her, and Negi was momentarily distracted from his contemplation of his circumstances, looking up to see that Ako was poking her head in the room.

"Oh," he said, flushing with deep embarassment. "H-hello, Ako-san." _And after I promised not to become Nagi around her again, too! It seems I can't do_ anything _right this evening._

"Hello, Negi-kun," the petite, blue-haired student said, trying to avoid giving the impression that she was reluctant to look at him while at the same time trying to avoid the impulse to stare at those oh-so-handsome features. "Um ... shouldn't you be turning back into a kid, like the others have?"

"Yes," said Fate, getting up and moving, with surprising grace considering the baggy suit which was encumbering him, over to where Negi was still seated. "Yes, he should be."

Ignoring this byplay, Madoka continued with the thought she'd been having earlier. "And, then, that means that ... that ... K-Kojiro-kun is ... is ..."

"I haven't moved from where I was sitting," Kotaro said, glancing at her momentarily. "It shouldn't be that hard to figure it out."

"- that little jerk who hangs around with Natsumi-san?" she asked, sounding horrified.

KOtaro slumped. "Badass martial artist, gainfully employed, supernatural powers, but what do they remember?" he asked no one in particular.

Ignoring this, and the way that Madoka had collapsed, quietly screaming to herself as she held her head, Misa pressed on. "No, seriously, nobody told us about this so-called rule of yours before we came in here, so -"

"Kakizaki-san," Fate said, turning to look at her. "You will find, as you grow up - _if_ that happens - that ignorance of the law is not generally held to be an excuse for violating it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other, much more important matters to deal with. Negi-kun, we should get you to a doctor."

Negi looked up, startled. "It's not that serious, is it?" he asked. "Surely, surely we can go forward with tonight's meeting with -" He broke off, deciding that going into those details in the presence of those uninvolved with the plan was perhaps not the smartest thing that he could do.

"The meeting can be postponed or delayed, but, as I believe that I told you already, if something happens to cause the project's failure - and you developing serious health issues could conceivably cause that - you know what I'll do."

Negi flinched. "All right, all right ..."

"What will he do?" Sakurako quietly asked Kotaro.

"Restart Cosmo Entelechia, and absorb the souls of pretty much everyone in the Magical World into a never-ending dream," he answered her quietly.

"... I don't know what that means, but it sounds really bad," Sakurako said. "I really really hate that guy."

"Join the club."

"... there's a club?"

* * *

"Get used to it," Yukihiro Ayaka advised her disconcerted dinner companion, as she finished stirring the cream into her tea. "This is what your life is going to be like from this point onward. And anyway, I was under the impression that you wore far more elaborate dresses over there."

"Over there was over there, this is ... not," Asuna replied, shifting uncomfortably in her seat across the table from the class representative. "This ... thing you've got me wearing is embarassing. I know that it's a typical party dress but -"

"It's very becoming, your highness," Ayaka said. She probably didn't intend for the compliment to sound quite as flirtatious as it did.

Asuna flushed. "I told you to cut that out!" The thrill of being referred to as a princess and treated with veneration that bordered on - and sometimes crossed into - outright worship had faded quickly.

"It is simply an expression of amazement that someone so unrefined is actually royalty," Ayaka said, lifting her tea up to sip it with a faint smile.

On the other hand, it was better than some other ways that she got treated. "You are seriously starting to -"

Before she could continue in that line, however, she felt the signal inside her head that foreboded a telepathic contact from her partner. Early on, she'd been unable to recognize the signal, and the first that she knew of a call coming in would be 'hearing' Negi's 'voice' in her head. She'd developed since then, and now, with a practiced gesture, she fished her card out of its hiding place and held it to her head a moment before the 'voice' 'sounded'.

_Asuna-san?_

_Right here, Negi. With Iinchou, waiting for you and the boys to show up. What's the holdup?_

_Ah, well ... you see ... um ... I want to stress that I'm not in any trouble -_

Asuna rolled her eyes. _What did you do?_

Negi's mental voice was almost a whine. _Why do you automatically assume that it was me?_

_... I'm not going to dignify that with a response. What happened?_

_Um ... I appear to be stuck in an aged-up form, for some reason. It's probably nothing serious, but Fate insists on getting me to a magical doctor for an examination. I'm going to be contacting Iinchou-san right after this to tell her -_

And then, not _exactly_ for the first time, Asuna 'heard' Ayaka's 'voice' in her head as well. _I'll contact the Prime Minister's office and reschedule the meeting for later, Negi-sensei._

Asuna's eyes, slightly closed to help her focus on the telepathy, snapped open to the sight of Ayaka holding a card of her own to her forehead. Heedless of Asuna's surprise, the class representative continued to send. _You just take care of your health, it is your most precious asset, and Fate-san is perfectly right to insist on having you see a doctor._

_Thank you for being so understanding, Iinchou-san,_ Negi's 'voice' betrayed no surprise at Ayaka's presence in the conversation. _I'm so sorry about all of this. I'm sure that I'll see you both soon._ With that, the telepathic link ceased.

"... since when can you do that?" Asuna asked, lowering her card a bit.

"What, involving myself in a telepathic conversation with our mutual Magister?" Ayaka asked, lowering her own. "It's a simple enough use of the system."

Asuna wasn't sure she liked the notion that it was simple for someone else using the pactio's telepathy to eavesdrop on someone else's private conversation, but that wasn't exactly what she'd meant. "No, I mean ... when did you, uh, make a pactio with Negi, anyway?"

Now Ayaka brought the card to her lips, smiling in a rather sinister way. "Oh? Would you like to hear it, Asuna-san? The tale of the miraculous love between Negi-sensei and myself? I must say, I don't think you should be prying into other people's private lives, but -"

"Uh, well, in that case -"

"- if you insist, then I suppose I must!" Ayaka continued, very quickly. "Yes, I shall tell you of the memorial of the forbidden love of Yukihiro Ayaka and Negi-sensei!"

"No, that's okay," Ayaka said dully.

"Let it begin!"

"No, really, I don't -"

* * *

"Are you uncomfortable, Negi-kun?" the doctor asked.

Since this seemed to be a deceptively important question, Negi gave it the careful consideration such an inquiry deserved. "No, not really," he answered. "I don't feel particularly cold, even with my shirt off like this." He looked down at the examination table where he was sitting, and added, "And the table isn't too hard, either."

"That's not really what I meant," she said, then, with a shake of her head, laughed a little. "But I suppose I should have expected an answer like that. You're very like your father, even if I got a factually correct answer rather than a snarky one, this time."

"Eh?" he said, now alert and interested. "You knew - oh. I'm sorry. That was a silly question, wasn't it? Of course you knew him."

"Not as well as my husband," said Konoe Kouko, agreeably. "But, yes, I knew him a long, long time ago. I'll tell you about that some other time. Now, before I tell you what I've been able to figure out about your situation, I have another question to ask you, not as a doctor, but as the mother of one of your students, partners, and roommates. I refer of course to Konoka, in case you weren't certain."

Negi, a polite boy - young man, presently - resisted the impulse to flinch.

"These age-shifting pills that you used," she said, her pleasant, cheerful smile not altering one bit as she spoke, yet somehow conveying menace with it that would have been the envy of certain students. "Has Konoka been using them?"

"Um ... only once, as far as I know ... well, technically, it was more than once, but ... only one specific time, even if she used them a couple of different ways, that one time, and ... uh, well, what I mean is, I think what I mean is, she only used them to find out what they did, not to, er, do anything bad. I think."

She waited to see if his statement was truly over, before nodding. "I see," she said. "Youthful experimentation. Nothing to worry about, really. I did far stranger things at that age."

"Really?"

"Some other time," she repeated. "Well, now that that's settled, I have good news for you and bad news for you. Which do you want first?"

"The bad news, please," Negi said, bracing himself.

"Good news it is," Kouko said pleasantly, making him sway back a bit. "The good news is, you're a perfectly normal, healthy fifteen year old boy."

"Ahem," said Negi, starting to feel just a bit impatient. "Yes, that would be good news, if I weren't actually not quite eleven."

"I was getting to that," the doctor said mildly. "The bad news is that what's happened to you can only be described in theoretical terms, since, as far as I know, you're the only person who has ever suffered from this combination of conditions. Let me ask you something - how exactly do you normally use Magia Erebea? In a fight, I mean, in case you weren't certain."

"Well, I -" And then he broke off as he started to guess where she was going with all this. "Oh, no," he groaned.

"Let me summarize, then. You cast a spell, then absorb it into your body, extending its duration from a second or so to several minutes, incorporating its effects into your person so that you can use them for other purposes," Kouko narrated. "And this is just what has happened, now, as well. Only instead of the spell you cast normally lasting for a few seconds, like most battle magics, the effect was supposed to last for a couple of hours. So instead of lasting for a few minutes, the effects you've absorbed into yourself will probably last for ... months."

"Months?" Negi repeated incredulously.

"At a minimum. In case you weren't certain."

"But, but - wait, I have to deliberately absorb a spell in order to use it as a Pro Armatione," Negi protested, flailing about for some way that this could be a mistake. "How can it -"

"Mm-hm, and you normally have to incant it. You didn't have to incant anything to use the pill, did you?" Kouko asked, as Negi slapped his own forehead. "There probably was a moment where you chose this, but it might have been something almost unconscious. Some moment where you wished things were different than they were."

"Nyergh," Negi said cleverly as he remembered thinking just that while watching Fate toying with the cheerleaders.

"Well, it's not so bad. But before you get any clever ideas about taking another one and trying to get yourself back to normal _that_ way, let me state clearly - that would be a bad idea. We don't know what might happen, and there's a real danger that you might suffer a more serious problem."

"... okay," Negi said, weary, defeated. "I guess ... well, could you let my friends in so that I can tell them?"

"Of course," Kouko, heading over to the door to the small examination room. She opened it and let Kotaro enter quickly, followed more patiently by Fate. She regarded the white-haired boy with no small amount of suspicion, but allowed him entry nonetheless.

"Well, the good news is that I'm perfectly fine," Negi said. "The bad news is, I'm stuck this way and we don't know how long."

"That is good news," Fate said. "There should be no problems completing the tasks for the project in this form. Actually, for those which would require you to appear as a more mature person, it's more convenient, since you won't run the chance of shifting back in the middle."

"It's also really bad news," Kotaro said, glaring at Fate. "Where the heck are you gonna stay here on campus?"

Negi blinked. "Oh, feathers!" he cursed.

"... that's a curse?" Kotaro asked.

"I never even considered that!" Negi said, hopping off the table. "I can't stay in the girls dorm room like this, the Headmaster -"

"What about me, Negi-kun?" said a cheerful voice from the doorway.

As Konoemon walked slowly into the room, Negi swallowed. "Um, I was just saying that the Headmaster would never permit me to stay in the girls dormitory now that I've become like this. I assure you that I'll quickly find a new place to live and -"

"Oh, no, Negi-kun, we can't have that. House-hunting is a very involved process, after all, especially in today's terrible housing market. It could take weeks for you to find somewhere to live, and that's without taking into consideration the change of address paperwork you'd have to fill out!" Konoemon shook his head soberly, and yet Negi had the strangest feeling that, beneath his beard and heavy moustache, the old man was smiling broadly. "It's really a full-time job in itself, and you already have too many of those."

"Yes, you do," said Fate.

"But, then -" Negi started to say.

"Under those circumstances, it simply can't be helped - you'll have to keep on living where you've been living. I have complete confidence that nothing untoward will happen. I'm sure that you'll take complete responsibility for your actions." He nodded forcefully.

Negi had grown up quite a bit in the last little while. (Even without considering his current, artificial physical maturity.) So he was not completely oblivious to the fact that the last two statements, while they sounded very similar, did not exactly mean the same thing. Under the circumstances, though, all that he could do in response was say, "Um, well ..."

"I am totally secure in the notion of having my granddaughter in your care, Negi-kun," the headmaster assured him. "And so is her mother! Aren't you, my dear?"

Kouko was staring at the headmaster with an expression that could perhaps most charitably be described as skeptical. When addressed by him, she let out a sigh, rolled her eyes, and nodded shortly. All without saying a word.

"Then we're agreed," Konoemon said cheerfully.

"Well, I suppose ... but, still -" Negi said, still quite uncomfortable with this situation.

"'Scuse me a second," interjected Kotaro, smiling politely. "Would it be possible for this humble person to have a word or two in private with _Negi-kun_?"

"Certainly, certainly," Konoemon said. "Let's step outside, dear," he added to Kouko.

Kouko gave him another rather skeptical look, but stepped out into the hallway and closed the door.

"I don't think I've ever heard you using keigo before," Negi said wonderingly.

"Stick it," suggested Kotaro. "Dude, what is your problem?"

"It's just not right," he replied. "Boys and girls shouldn't live together after a certain -"

"That's what I thought it was," Kotaro interrupted again. "Okay. Reality check - you're not living with girls, you're living with Asuna and Konoka-san. And Asuna will punch you through a wall if you try anything! And as for Konoka-san ..." He trailed off, shaking his head.

"... I don't think she could do that," Negi said.

"She wouldn't have to! Setsuna-san would cut you right open!" Kotaro ran his hands through his hair. "And all that stuff the old man said about finding a new place to live was completely on the level, and you know it! You don't have time for that! If you spend too much time on it, the project will be set back, and Fate's going to start Cosmo Entelechia up again!"

"Yes I will," Fate confirmed absently as he examined the medical supplies with detached yet fascinated interest. Having never been sick, he'd never been inside a doctor's office, and the novelty of this experience was somewhat intriguing to him.

"So just cope with the humiliation for a while, all right?" Kotaro concluded.

"... I guess it really can't be helped," Negi agreed after a moment.

"What exactly do they use these for?" Fate asked, holding up a tongue depresser.

"Making ice-cream," Negi said, who'd always wondered why doctors had those.

"... well, now you're just being silly."

* * *

"Tadaima," Asuna announced as she walked in the door of her room, after Ayaka had finally agreed that they should both go back to the dorm if Negi and the boys weren't going to show up. Of course, that had been after she'd gone into detail about how she'd made her pactio, including an attempt at expressing her feelings about it through interpretative dance. It had been horrifying. Asuna was truly glad to be back.

Not nearly as glad, though, as Konoka seemed to be that she was just back, judging by the way that she squealed and threw herself at Asuna in a tackle hug that almost pushed the other girl off her feet. "Welcome back, Asuna!" Konoka crowed as she clenched their bodies close together.

"Ah!" Asuna exclaimed. "Konoka, come on, what's up with this!"

"Well, you hardly ever come home anymore, so it's an occasion for celebration when you do!" Konoka said, as piously as one can say anything while grinning widely and hugging someone.

Asuna shook her head in only partially mock dismay. "Geez," she said. She turned to look at Setsuna, hoping to get a less crazy response to her return.

Setsuna was genuflecting towards her. "Welcome home, your royal highness, Asuna-himesama!"

_So much for that,_ Asuna thought dazedly. "Setsuna-san, what _are_ you doing?"

"An exalted individual, such as yourself, destined to inherit a kingdom that traces its lineage to the time of the gods themselves, should not condescend to waste your breath speaking to such as this unworthy person!" Setsuna replied. Well, she engaged in non sequitur, which counts for some people as a reply.

"Wha -" Asuna tried to say.

"This one earnestly and humbly begs your forgiveness for any and all past rudeness! Ignorance of your exalted nature is no excuse for them!"

"What rudenesses, I mean, rudeness?" Asuna finally managed to ask. "... okay, there _were_ those times when you suggested I might be in love with Negi, but -"

"- and yet you have still, with godlike mercy, permitted me to be your friend!" Setsuna interjected, still without even slightly looking up from the floor. "Therefore, this Sakurazaki Setsuna shall spare no effort to ensure that not a trace of shame ever comes to your exalted person!"

"... Konoka, what the ever-loving heck?" Asuna asked after a moment.

"I have no idea what's going on," replied Konoka, who'd been watching all this with wide eyes. "I mean, she seemed a little upset all the time she didn't see you, but ... I've never seen her acting like this." She glanced from the still-genuflecting form on the floor to Asuna and then back again. "I'm kind of starting to feel a little jealous, actually."

Before Asuna could respond to that, the door to their dorm room opened and Negi - in aged-up form - entered. "Well," he said, without preamble, "I have some good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

"Good news," Asuna and Konoka chorused. Setsuna continued to genuflect.

* * *

"So that's the situation," Negi concluded sometime later. "I'm stuck like this for the next few months, but the Headmaster has generously agreed to let me continue living here in your dorm room."

"'Generously'," Konoka said, a rather skeptical look on her face.

Negi glanced at her with obvious amazement. "You really looked like your mother just now."

Now she adopted a rather cross expression as she looked at him. "Gee, thanks, Negi-kun. Every teenaged girl on Earth dreams of the day that they're told they look like their mother!"

"They - oh. Sarcasm." He nodded his head while rubbing the back of it with one hand. "I apologize."

"Well, it's probably not a problem," Asuna said. If nothing else, listening to the explanation had gotten Setsuna out of her posture of genuflection and seated comfortably with the other two girls. "I mean, despite everything, you're still a kid where it counts, right?"

"... I'm not honestly sure what you mean by that," Negi replied.

"Which kinda proves my point," Asuna replied, rolling her eyes.

"Well, as long as he doesn't crawl into bed with Asuna -" Konoka started to say.

"I haven't done that in months!" Negi protested. "And not just because we were separated for most of that time!"

Again with the skeptical expression from Konoka.

"Okay, there was that _one time_ where I crawled into Chisame-san's futon by mistake, but that was because we were at an inn and I was confused about my whereabouts -" Negi started to explain.

Setsuna coughed politely, her hand over her mouth. "There will be no problems," she said, with calm certainty. "I will stand guard over both Ojousama and Asuna-himesama, to prevent Negi-sensei from disgracing either of them or himself."

The statement hung in the air for a few moments, before Konoka found it in her to, quetly, gently, and giving no impression that images of a disemboweled, decapitated or otherwise horribly maimed Negi were floating in her mind's eye, ask the question, "Um ... Setchan. What exactly do you mean by that?"

Setsuna blinked in bewilderment. "Obviously, I mean that if Negi-sensei should, in a daze, happen to try to climb into either your bed, or into Asuna-himsesama's bed, I will alert him to what he is doing so that he won't do so, being the polite and respectful person that I know him to be."

Konoka started let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"And if that doesn't work, I'll kill him."

The sigh of relief died a death of strangled coughing.

"That was a joke, of course," Setsuna announced a moment later. "I'm trying some techniques that Mana recommended for lightening the mood."

Asuna and Negi watched this byplay with mixed feelings, since they were uncomfortably well aware that neither of their friends had yet to learn the full truth about Negi's condition, and they weren't exactly happy to be deceiving either of them about it. On the other hand ... it was sort of refreshing to see Konoka on the receiving end of some trolling for once.

"Well," Asuna said. "Anyway, I think it's probably time for us to go have a bath -"

"Oh, no," said Negi, abruptly sounding very sure of himself as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I had a bath this morning at the hotel, and another one right before I got all dressed up to go meet up with Fate. I am _not_ having another one, even if I wasn't like this. _Not!_"

"Um - I was really just talking about the three of us, Negi," Asuna said after a moment, gesturing towards herself, Konoka and Setsuna.

"Oh."

* * *

"He actually is a little more aggressive when he's like that, isn't he?" Asuna mused to Konoka as they walked out of the room, distracted enough that she didn't notice Setsuna bending down to set a pair of shoes down in front of her that the bodyguard had swept out from ... somewhere concealed on her person.

"Little bit," Konoka said, who did notice.

"Well, I guess that's how boys are," Asuna said with a shrug, distracted enough not to notice the way that Setsuna moved to put a handkerchief down to cover a speck of dirt on the floor in front of them. "But it's going to be an awfully long few months if he's like that all the time."

"Tell me about it," Konoka agreed ... feeling a headache coming on as she did.

* * *

Meanwhile, after doing some paperwork that he'd brought home with him, Negi decided that he should probably take advantage of the opportunity to get an early night's sleep, and headed for the drawer where he kept his pyjamas.

Then stopped half-way there.

"Oh, fudge," he muttered.

* * *

A relatively short interval later, Asuna, Setsuna and Konoka were walking down the hallway back to the dorm room in their pyjamas, the foremost of them patiently lecturing Setsuna as they went. "Okay, I'm going to let the genuflecting and the scraping go this time," Asuna was saying rather sternly. "Because I paid you back by messing with you, and that was actually a surprisingly fun thing to do."

"Wasn't it though," said Konoka rather dryly, who for some reason hadn't been able to find nearly as much fun in it as Asuna had.

Asuna proved oblivious to that statement and its tone as she warmed to her theme. "But some of the tears that I was shedding back there were real ones, and so you have got to start treating me like a regular person, got it?"

"Yes, yes, I apologize," Setsuna agreed, nodding rapidly. "I am clearly a failure as a friend."

Asuna stopped and whirled around to face Setsuna directly, slamming her hands down on the other girl's shoulders. "That is exactly what I don't mean!" she snapped. "We are friends for life, okay? _Okay?_ You would have an easier time getting Chachamaru away from Eva-chan than you will getting yourself away from me!"

"... I believe that I should register a demurral of that statement," Chachamaru said politely. "And yet I find it difficult to do so."

"Gyah!" Asuna and Setsuna chorused, having been too distracted by their drama to notice their classmate approaching.

"Hey, Chachamaru," Konoka said, managing to summon up a smile. "What brings you here this evening."

The gynoid held up a small package of what appeared to be fabric. "Negi-sensei contacted me, and asked me, in my capacity as his personal assistant, to purchase a pair of pyjamas that would fit his currently enlarged frame."

"Doi," Asuna said, rubbing her head. "Yeah, we should probably have thought of - wait, since when are you Negi's personal asisstant?" she asked, changing lanes abruptly.

Chachamaru blinked. "Since I asked whether I could become his personal assistant, and since he acquiesced," she replied. "Had he not mentioned the fact?"

"No," Asuna replied, rubbing her head some more. "He kind of hasn't." With a sigh, she resumed her progress down the hall, leading the other three along with her. "C'mon, I'll let you in the room."

"That's very nice of you, Asuna-san," Chachamaru said, since it was, and since she didn't really want to advertise the fact that one of her fingers contained equipment that could act as a skeleton key for any lock on campus.

"So, I guess Eva-chan already knows about Negi-kun's situation?" Konoka asked.

"Yes, I informed her as soon as his communication reached me," Chachamaru explained. "Her exact words on the subject were, 'Hah hah hah, that, that dumbass, hah, hah hah ha ha ha, I can't, can't believe he could, oh yes I can, hah hah ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh wow, heh heh heh heh."

"Sounds like her all right," Asuna sighed.

They reached the door, opened, trooped in. But Negi was nowhere to be seen.

He was heard a moment later, though, voice coming from the bathroom. "Chachamaru?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Thank goodness," he said, walking out wearing nothing but his boxers and a smile, and carrying a wrapped up bundle "I was hoping you could also ... take ... some ... laundry ..." His words slowed and trailed off as he realized that Chachamaru was not alone, and that he was under the observation of three of his other Ministra as well. "Um," he concluded somewhat awkwardly.

They stood there a while in silence, gazing at his firm, well-defined pectoral muscles, before, almost involuntarily, their gazes slowly dropped down his torso to what was hidden beneath his boxers.

"Hot damn," said Konoka after a second or two.

"This is very embarassing," Negi commented.

Chachamaru said nothing. She was busily trying to prevent her internal systems from overheating while at the same time saving her current logs under boring names that wouldn't attract attention from anyone who happened to view them.

* * *

After a somewhat shorter interval, involving Negi ducking back into the bathroom and Chachamaru somehow managing to pass him the pyjamas through the doorway without actually looking at him, then accepting the laundry bundle once Negi was acceptably dressed, everyone was finally a bit tired and settled down to sleep.

Except, of course, that Asuna couldn't sleep. Well, couldn't might be the wrong expression. 'Didn't really want to' and 'felt presently comfortable without' would probably have been closer to accurate. 'Was dreading the thought of the very long nap she would far too soon be taking, and so chose to go without' was an even better expansion of her feelings.

Besides which, she felt like she needed to talk to Negi about something, now that Konoka was asleep and so - she checked - was Setsuna. Her friend was seated on the floor beside Konoka's lower bunk, having covered the entire area around her with rice paper so that nobody who couldn't fly would probably make noise enough to wake the dead - or at least to wake Setsuna. Asuna expected that Setsuna had probably set up other, less obvious traps to deal with intruders who wouldn't be bothered by the more visible ones.

All of them, whether visible or invisible, would be designed to deal with people trying to get into the girls' beds, as opposed to people trying to get out of them. So Asuna felt perfectly secure stepping - where she'd once had to hop - over to Negi's nook.

"Isn't this a little backwards?" Negi asked quietly once his eyes slid open to see that she was there.

"Yeah, yeah, hilarious," she said. "We need to tell Konoka and Setsuna the truth about what happened." She paused. "And what's going to happen," she added, a bit reluctantly.

Negi's face twisted in an unfamiliar expression that she took a while to recognize as a frown. "I don't mind telling them about me, but when it comes to you -"

"I don't like lying to them, even by omission," Asuna interjected. "And -"

"When it comes to you," Negi continued, as though nothing had been said, "I refuse to give up hope that I'm going to find some way around it. If that happens, then telling them would be cruel, as we'd be worrying them for nothing."

"You have no reason for thinking you can do that," Asuna said, feeling like she'd had this discussion before. Mostly because she had.

"And I apologize for usurping your role in our normal byplay," he replied dryly.

She glared at him. "You are definitely way more aggressive when you're like this," she said, gesturing at his adult form. "You'd never say something like that to me normally."

"I am not!" Negi said defensively.

"Are too," Asuna said, then preemptively sang-song at him, "Are too, are too, are too-oo."

There was a sudden flash, and the almost inaudible sound of Setsuna rising to her feet on the floor below them as one of her alarms was set off by Asuna speaking too loudly. Asuna quickly ducked down beside Negi to avoid being seen by Setsuna and provoking ... well, she suspected that Setsuna would probably start crying if she saw Asuna sneaking around like this, and that wasn't a pleasant thing to contemplate.

It was also difficult, because she was busily contemplating something else ... specifically, the fact that she'd never been this close to Negi's adult form when they were both in their pyjamas, and the way that his eyes were staring into hers.

They lay there for a while, even long after Setsuna had finally realized that there was no intruder and settled down again.

Years later, they still weren't sure which one of them made the first move.

"This -" said Asuna, managing to get the word out in the brief interval where her lips and tongue weren't otherwise occupied with Negi's lips and tongue.

"- is - a - bad - idea?" Negi bit out a moment or so later, punctuating the words with kisses that ran down her chin, and then across her neck to the spot where he could feel, beneath his lips, the rapid pulsing of her heart.

"Yes!" Asuna agreed, breathing heavily as her hands went around his buttocks and pulled him even closer to her, almost crushing her body against his slightly larger one. "You're my little brother!"

Negi managed to pull back enough to look into her eyes, and sounded a bit annoyed when he spoke. "A, I'm not little at the moment."

"Yeah, I can feel that," Asuna groaned as their crotches ground together and the part of him that was clearly not little at all bulged against her, making her shudder from the sensation.

"And B, you started it!"

"No I -"

Anticipating that response, Negi kissed her soundly and wrapped _his_ hands around _her_ buttocks, just as she was doing to him. _Peace! I will stop your mouth,_ he thought, a bit dazedly.

Asuna growled in her throat a bit at being cut off like that, but what was happening was sufficient distraction to take her mind away from that, particularly when his hands moved off the outside of her pyjama bottoms and inside, onto her actual skin. In response, her hands moved as well, but differently, around to the sides of his bottoms, so that they could be pushed down. Normally, she knew, he wore boxers beneath them, but she'd seen the only pair of boxers he had that still fit taken away in the laundry, and so beneath -

Beneath was something startlingly large, not that she had much basis for comparison. But it was large enough that when her hand shakily came around to wrap around it, rubbing it as some instinct commanded, she almost wanted to bring her other hand up to help out. But it was busy, pulling her own bottoms down.

She thought it would be enough to get them down to her hips, but then he pushed forward and his hips pushed against them, stopping his motion and making them both groan. Furiously, she shoved the bottoms down to her ankles and then kicked them off completely, rocking back so that Negi could roll on top of her.

And into her.

For a few seconds after that initial penetration, they simply lay there, breathing heavily, staring into each other's eyes. She hadn't paid enough attention in health class to know that there was supposed to be a certain amount of pain in a first sexual experience, and so didn't know that she was being spared that for whatever reason. The feeling of fullness - or, on the other side, of being surrounded - was sufficiently bewildering to both of them that it had them stunned.

And then, Negi, a quick learner if ever there was one, began to move forward, then back. Out, then in. Faster and faster, their hips grinding together as their lips met then broke away and hands reached out to clench each other and pounding and pounding and pounding and gasps loud enough to wake the dead and then, at last, the sensation of explosive release.

"Ahhh," said a voice.

Negi blinked. So did Asuna.

It hadn't been either of them.

Slowly, they turned to look to the side, where Setsuna and Konoka were gazing at them with respectively horrified and excited looks.

"Ah," both Negi and Asuna managed to say before Setsuna finally regained control of her jaw and began to make a keening noise.

Beneath it, Konoka murmured, "Pal owes me five thousand yen. Woot." With a rather smug smile on her face.

"No!" Setsuna cried out at last. "Asuna-himesama! How could you do this! I tried so hard to protect you from such things, and yet here you are, throwing away your purity as though it didn't matter at all!"

"It kinda doesn't?" Asuna offered up weakly.

Her words were more or less drowned out by Setsuna's ongoing passive-aggressive temper tantrum. "The traps! The effort I put into the traps! And yet you didn't even bother trying to prevent them from going off as you could have with Magic Cancel!"

"- that would have been kind of a good move," Negi agreed.

"I have to be able to see what I'm doing in order to do that, and they were all on the floor!" Asuna protested.

"Why, ohimesama?" Setsuna nearly wept. "Why did you do it? I know that I'm not worthy of any explanations, much less -"

"Okay, that is _it_!" Konoka snapped. The smug had melted right off her face as she'd listened to Setsuna's complaint, replaced by the annoyance and, frankly, jealousy that she'd been feeling while watching Setsuna act like she'd been acting towards Asuna. There'd been a few funny moments, like when she'd seen Asuna try to manipulate the other girl into calling her by a very informal version of her name, like she herself did all the time. But even that had paled once she'd watched Asuna actually _succeed_ without there needing to be a major combat event before it happened.

Konoka was Not Happy.

"O-ojousama?" Setsuna trembled.

That did not improve her Not Happiness.

"Se. Tchan," she bit out. "Remember what we talked about that one time? About being more honest about our feelings?"

"... you're going to need to be more specific," Setsuna admitted weakly. There'd been a lot of conversations like that, after all.

Konoka drew in a deep breath. "You're only a little bit upset about Asuna sneaking past your traps, riiight?" she asked. "Really, you're upset because it turned you on to watch them doing it, riiight?" She drew out the terminal expressions, to leave no question in anyone's mind that she expected any answer other than an immediate affirmation.

"B-but -" Setsuna stammered.

"I'll prove it," Konoka said. And with a surprisingly forceful shove - surprising to anyone who didn't realize that Setsuna weighed much less than she appeared - she pushed Setsuna upwards, so that her bodyguard was bent forward over the wall's edge, face much closer to where Negi and Asuna were still lying entwined. With a second smooth gesture, Setsuna's pyjama bottoms were dangling around her ankles, as were her panties.

"See?" Konoka said calmly, as she moved around to Setsuna's exposed rear end. "You're not upset, you're turned on. Which makes _me_ a little upset, but I'll cope." She drew in another deep breath, and without further preamble, pushed her face into Setsuna's genitalia.

"Ojousama!" Setsuna shrieked. "No, you can't! It's dirty and - ahhhhhh!" Her cries lost coherency as Konoka pinched her for being such a cliche. "Ah! No, not in front of ohimesama and -"

"Dammit, what do I have to do to get you to stop with that -" Asuna started to yell, then stopped, breathed, and then said, much more quietly, "Yeah, that's a dumb question, even for me."

"Eh?" said Negi, genuinely bewildered by all of this.

Asuna pulled away from him and reached down to grab ahold of Setsuna's shoulders and lever her upper torso upwards so that they were facing each other. "It's a really dumb question," she repeated.

"Ohime-" Setsuna started to say.

She was interrupted when Asuna slammed their lips together and started to rub at Setsuna's breasts with her hands.

Konoka found herself feeling conflicted as she licked at the flower of Setsuna's joy. The conflict wasn't about having sex with Setsuna. She'd been wanting to do _that_ ever since she'd happened to walk in on Sakura and Takane 'celebrating' together on their last night in Megalo-Mesembria, and just hadn't ever had the opportunity until right now.

Rather, she was conflicted about being happy that what Asuna was doing was preventing Setsuna from making cliched comments like 'it's dirty' or 'stop, don't, you shouldn't', while on the other hand being more than a little unhappy that what Asuna was doing was apparently making Setsuna more aroused - if the increase in juiciness was any indication - than anything Konoka herself had done. _Maybe 'skipping to the chorus' wasn't such a good idea after all,_ she thought.

She didn't _stop_ of course. Setsuna's juiciness was yummy. Rather, she brought her fingers into play as well, enjoying the pleasant gasp that burst from Setsuna's throat and into Asuna's mouth, making the other girl's eyes go wide. Still, the fact that two of the people she loved most in the world were enjoying themselves while she did most of the work to bring that about was ... a bit vexing.

She tongued Setsuna's clitoris and made her jerk in release, hard enough to pull away from Asuna's mouth and make harsh, almost birdlike shrieks of orgasm. For a second, as she watched her bodyguard's shoulder blades quivering, she almost thought that the wings were about to come out. She almost wished that they would.

But Setsuna collapsed after a moment, instead. Ah well.

Time to move on. "Naughty, naughty Asuna!" Konoka said as she pulled herself up to their level. "Doing that to _my_ Setchan! I think that is unforgivable!"

Asuna, who'd looked startled at Konoka's initial comment, slowly shifted her expression into a rather ironic and knowing smile. "Uh-huh," she said. "And however might I earn your forgiveness."

"Welllll," Konoka said, glancing at Negi, who'd just watched all this wide-eyed, and at the giant between his legs that she'd only partially glimpsed as it pounded into Asuna's cleft. "I'm not sure, really," she admitted, licking her lips.

Asuna rolled her eyes. "Think _hard_, I'm sure it'll _come_ to you."

That would be fun, but maybe later. She'd had a better idea. "No, I think the best way for you to understand the pain I've had to endure would be for Negi-kun to do it with Setchan," she said, nodding firmly.

"What?"

"What?" echoed Negi.

"... do I get a vote in this?" Setsuna whimpered.

"Of course not. Come on, Negi-kun," Konoka said as she hefted Setsuna's still limp body up so that she was on full display to Negi. "Don't you think Setchan is pretty? You do, riiight?"

"Well, um, of-of-of course I think Setsuna-san is very pretty, but -"

"And you want to show her that she's worthy of being loved, riiight?"

"Well, yes, certainly, but -"

"Oh, just do it, Negi," Asuna groused.

"... riiight," he muttered, feeling a bit ill-used, but nonetheless crawled over to where Setsuna was lying and staring up at him apprehensively all the same. He paused when he saw that stare. "Setsuna-san, do you not want -"

"... ojousama has decided," Setsuna interjected, lower lip trembling a bit. "Please make use of my body, Negi-kun."

Pity stabbed Negi's heart. Here was a wonderful young woman, so brave, so strong, and so fair to gaze upon. He felt himself blush a bit, remembering what he had mistaken for a confession during Mahora-fest, and how he'd actually felt a tiny sliver of disappointment when she'd tried to clarify matters, covering it up with teasing because it was easier. Setsuna was perhaps the mightiest of his companions, and yet here she was, submitting so easily.

Love was so strange.

And yet, despite everything, Konoka was right. If he turned away now, she would find a way to blame herself for his refusal. The only thing to do was to give it his all, to strive to make Setsuna feel as wonderful as, he was sure, he would feel doing this. He set his jaw firmly, and bent down to kiss her lips. They were as sweet as they had been when they'd formed their contract, so long ago, it seemed.

Her eyes flinched closed as he pushed up and into her, and so he murmured gently into her ear. "You are wonderful, Setsuna-san, wonderful." And she was. The strength that he so admired in Asuna and others was here, as well. He had to answer it with his own strength, show her that the gentleness that she feared in herself was itself a strength.

It was a heroic task, when he thought of it that way.

Meanwhile, Setsuna was busily thinking, _I'm having sex with Negi-sensei_. Over and over and over. There was more than a little panic in the thought. And yet, also a certain amount of relief. After all, Negi never made demands of her that disconcerted and discomforted her. Except for this, right now, and that wasn't really his idea. And it wasn't like he was making her feel bad, as his ... thing ... slid up inside of her, like her lady's fingers had just a little while ago. Just ... very confused, more than anything else. And panicked. And relieved. Which of course added to the confusion.

Yet she couldn't let any of that show, for it would make him unhappy, and then he would stop doing what he was doing, and then her lady would be upset. She didn't want her lady to be upset ... or, she realized, for Negi to be unhappy. So she began to deliberately respond to it, as she had somewhat involuntarily responded to Asuna's lips and hands on herself. The memory of that drove her onward, as she strove to make everyone present as happy as could be.

It was a heroic task, when she thought of it that way.

As the two of them struggled with their heroic tasks, of course, they were being watched by Asuna and Konoka. One of the two was humming in pleasure, only partially resulting from digital manipulation of her own clitoris. The other was frowning. Once the one realized that, she pressed up against the back of the other.

"Hmmm?" said Asuna, suggestively. "Wasn't this supposed to make me feel some sort of pain?"

Konoka flushed. Events ... were, perhaps, not working out as she'd wanted them to work. "I didn't think this all the way through," she admitted reluctantly, blushing.

"And yet you are never so cute as when you're so flustered like this," Asuna murmured, then, oh so delicately, kissed the ear into which she'd just softly spoken.

"It doesn't make you feel that way?" Konoka asked, starting to fall back into Asuna's embrace. "Watching Negi-kun with -"

"A little bit," Asuna interjected. "But ..." And then she fell silent, thinking of how much there is that Konoka didn't know. Of how she feared for what will happen to Negi once Asuna was gone, of how she wanted him to find happiness without her.

"But?" Konoka prompted.

And there was something else, too - the two conflicting urges that she felt in her heart. On the one hand, the urge to make a clean break with those she would be leaving behind, so that as few as possible will mourn her passing. And on the other, the wish to leave as much of herself behind as possible, to answer the call of those thirty-two voices who drew her from her slumber as best as she can.

Konoka's had been the first voice she'd heard.

Well. One of them.

(Chisame was such a noisy person.)

"But right now," she said at last, "I'm looking at you." And she pulled Konoka down to lie on the futon with her, their lips at last colliding, hands coming up to undo the pyjama tops that had, implausibly, remained their only garments. Almost at once, Asuna's mouth descended to bite the aching-hard nipple that adorned Konoka's small breasts, as their hips moved together.

And so, on Negi's futon, Asuna and Konoka's lips came together almost as tightly and with almost as much sheer ferocity as they ground themselves together below. Konoka, with that tiny corner of her mind not given over to ecstasy, managed to wonder how Asuna knew how to do anything that she was doing. She herself was only imitating what was done to her ... with a bit drawn from vague memories of the yuri manga that Paru had slipped her from time to time after Kyoto. That had been what she'd relied on when she was finger-banging Setsuna.

Even if Konoka had been able to find the voice or the breath to ask that question, Asuna might not have been able to answer, had _she_ had the voice or the breath to do so. She only vaguely understood how parts of her mind still contained the memories, the _thoughts_, of all those who had been taken into Cosmo Entelechia and then restored. There were countless memories of things she had never imagined that she might experience. Unlike a certain scientist and artist, she could say truly that nothing that was human - or demihuman - was alien to her, not anymore.

On the other side of Negi's nook, beside his desk, Negi continued to pound down into Setsuna. For this, his second sexual experience, he'd found himself trying to experiment, trying to draw her into different positions than the single one he'd used with Asuna. But Setsuna resisted, passively, being moved from the way that she lay flat on her back beneath him. It didn't take him long to realize that was what she was doing, and he promptly gave up on those ideas, for now. If this was what was making her happy, then this was what they'd do.

And from the harsh cries that abruptly burst from her throat, moments before he felt himself shuddering with release and shooting into her, it seemed that it had made her happy - or at least, satisfied something in her. He kissed her forehead once, then both of her slightly teary eyes, before delivering one last kiss to her lips.

"Negi-sensei," she murmured, making it sound a little like a prayer.

He smiled, and pulled back, glancing over his shoulder at their companions. They'd moved into a sexually charged sixty nine - as opposed, he supposed, to some other form of mutual oral sex which would be, well, _less_ sexually charged, somehow. But Konoka, whose position afforded her a better view of the nook, looked up when she realized that the other two inhabitants had reached a climax of their activities.

"Awww," she said, affecting childishness some more. "Negi-kun, your thing looks so droopy and sad, now. Didn't you - nnnnn - didn't you like doing it with Setchan?" she asked, shaking a bit as Asuna nibbled a bit of her thigh.

"It was, it was -" he stammered in response.

She pulled away from Asuna's mouth, then, and began crawling over to him. Almost before he realized what she was doing, she had taken his softening member into her mouth and was bobbing up and down on it. (Her memories of the many more yaoi mangas Paru had shared were very helpful here.) "Mmm, tastes like you did," she said, during a brief pause to evaluate the results of her actions. "Tastes like you both did."

"How can you tell from the -" Negi started to ask.

"Oh, Negi-kun," Konoka sighed, shaking her head with the sorrow of the greatly put-upon, as she began to crawl up his body. "Just shut up and fuck me, will you?"

Well. What could someone possibly say to that, or do, except to follow the suggested course of action? Setsuna's momentary protest was interrupted as Asuna resumed and enlarged her familiarity with her best friend's person, this time, close enough that the two of them could touch, had they not been otherwise occupied.

The first time, Asuna had been trying to be quiet - unsuccessfully, but still restraining herself. Setsuna had done the same, only more so. Konoka did not even remotely bother to restrain herself, shouting and panting her joy at what she was doing, what was being done to her, how great his cock felt inside of her cunt - had she perhaps read some hetero-based smut, as well? - as she rocked up and down above his hips, grabbing his hands and pulling them up to her breasts to squeeze them while she cried out in pleasure.

She made enough joyful noise that Negi found himself worrying that it might attract attention, and rolled her over onto her back in hopes that it would silence her. No such luck - that only came when Asuna, gently directing Setsuna's hesitant movements, set her down so that her vulva was over Konoka's mouth, and what had been left there began to drip down into it. She embraced that, embraced Setsuna, as Asuna leaned over the swordswoman's shoulder to bring her lips to Negi's once more.

For a few glorious moments, all four of them were united.

And then, of course, explosion.

A few minutes later, after all four of them had caught their breath as they lay on the carpet, Konoka rolled over onto her side so that she could look lovingly at Negi. "That was wonderful, Negi-kun. I can hardly wait for our wedding."

It was honestly a bit astounding, how having regained his breath, Negi lost it again so quickly. "Wait," he gasped. "What? Wedding?"

"Well, my goodness, Negi-kun," she said, looking a little shocked. "You just took my innocence. You ended my childhood. You couldn't possibly be enough of a cad, a brute, a bounder, an enemy to all women, to do that and then not make an honest woman of me. Besides, I could be pregnant now. So we have to get married!"

"What?" Negi asked again, sounding even more strangled.

"What?" Setsuna asked, sounding even worse.

However, that gasp was actually very helpful to Negi. "Wait," he said, regaining a bit of poise. "I mean, what about Asuna-san and Setsuna-san, I mean, I -" He abruptly paused as he realized just how much of a hole he was digging for himself. "- I, I mean -"

"Well, you can't marry all three of us," Konoka replied, in the most reasonable of tones. "And Asuna, as a princess, is no doubt promised to some prince back in the magical world, with no real personality or charm. Poor you!" she added, to Asuna, who was listening to all this with wide eyes. "And Setchan, well, is Setchan, and has promised to spend her life protecting me, so you can't marry her either, because I won't let you. So all in all, I think your only real choice would be to marry me, and then I'll take Setchan as a lover-slash-bodyguard and share her with you, and we can pay occasional visits on Asuna in her new kingdom and help her cheat on her boring husband. Doesn't that sound nice?" she asked, smiling warmly.

All three of them were staring at her now.

She returned their stares with a patient, gentle gaze ... then stuck out her tongue. "Gotcha."

Collapses all around.

"Oh yeah," Konoka said, nodding as she smiled rather smugly. "Who's got two thumbs and is the _queen_ of messing with people? This gal," she answered the rhetorical question with the predictable gesture.

* * *

Somewhat later, after they had all settled down to sleep, all together in the nook - though having resisted the temptation for further frolics - Asuna found that she still didn't want to sleep, even though now she honestly was a little tired. So she lay there, surrounded by many of the people she loved best in this world, and was happy.

"Why are you crying?" a soft voice asked into her ear.

Asuna turned slightly to see that Konoka was looking right at her though half-open eyes.

"Why?" Konoka repeated.

"Because -" _I'm happy_, is what she wanted to say. But that wasn't it. That would be a lie.

And so, she gave her friend-turned-lover the truth, instead. Slowly, softly, bit by bit. And Konoka's eyes slid the rest of the way open. Moments later, it was she who was crying in silence, and Asuna who tried, in vain, to still the tears.

From sweetest laughter to saddest tears, in under an hour. _That's a teenage girl for you,_ Asuna thought, as she held Konoka close and knew that she'd have to let her go.

* * *

The next day, being a Sunday, allowed them the chance to sleep in. For once, they actually took that chance. Well, Negi, Asuna and Setsuna did; Konoka was up earlier than they were, making breakfast for the three of them. When she finally did awaken, Setsuna thought that she detected a certain tension and unhappiness in her lady's face, but it vanished as soon as Konoka saw that they were awake, and she didn't have the chance to ask about it.

Immediately after they finished breakfast - she supposed that it was technically the _brunch_ which Negi-sensei had told her about, once - Konoka had delicately suggested that they should all have a shower, to deal with certain smells which she could detect emanating from their persons. "Yes," Konoka mused aloud. "A shower. Together."

Despite a certain naivete which perpetually embarrassed her whenever it became apparent, Setsuna was not exactly oblivious to subtext. In this case, it was not all that difficult to figure out that whatever her lady had planned, it was probably not a simple bathing experience. Setsuna found herself feeling genuinely torn, between a wish to make sure that her lady didn't do such things without her, and an equally compelling wish to make sure that her lady didn't do such things period, the latter complicated by the fact that she knew full well that Konoka had her quite thoroughly whipped. (Well, she didn't think of it in quite those terms, but it amounted to the same thing.)

"Um, um, um," Setsuna responded, quickly coming to her feet. "I can't! Not yet! I, I, I need to finish my exercise routine first! Yes, that's the ticket!"

"'Ticket'?" Asuna repeated, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, well, I suppose that you should wait until your exercises are done to shower," Konoka said, nodding. "So, have fun with that," she added, waving politely at Setsuna as she started to ever so gently pull Asuna and Negi towards the en suite door.

"Ah," Setsuna said cleverly. "Right. Okay then." Slowly, she exited, wondering why that hadn't worked out like she'd expected. But then, she supposed that she should have expected things to not work out as she expected them to, since very little lately had ... but wasn't that a paradox?

Her head hurt.

What had happened to her life? How had her dreams of glorious and honest service led her to this point? Why was she the only one who seemed at all disconcerted by what had happened last night? Clearly, the fault had to be hers, but what exactly was it?

Her head _really_ hurt.

"Hey, morning," Kotaro said as he jogged past her in the hallway, heading back to the room he shared with Ayaka, Chizuru and Natsumi.

"Good morning, Kotaro-kun," Setsuna said politely, determined not to let her inner turmoil show.

Abruptly, Kotaro froze in place, then slowly swiveled to look right at her, eyes wide.

"What?" she asked, a bit startled.

Slowly, he walked towards her, eyes narrowing, sniffing as he approached. Abruptly, it occurred to her that Kotaro's sensitive nose might detect -

"Oh. Holy. Shit," Kotaro said, eyes wide open once more.

"... why am I being punished for not taking a shower when I wouldn't actually be showering?" Setsuna asked of no one in particular.

* * *

A few minutes later, following some quickly- and quietly-voiced warnings to tell no one of what he'd just learned, backed up by a few hints of dire consequences if he did (which didn't really intimidate him anywhere as much as Setsuna probably wanted) Kotaro was on his way, shaking his head in amazement at what a mess Negi had gotten himself into this time. He was honest enough to admit - to himself, _never_ to anyone else - that he was a tiny bit envious of said mess. But just a tiny bit. The overwhelming majority of girls were icky.

"Welcome back, Kotaro-kun," Chizuru asked as he came in the door to their room. "How was your work out this morning?"

With a tiny minority who were absolutely terrifying. "It was okay," he said, resolving to put what had happened a few moments ago firmly out of his mind.

"Hmmm?" Chizuru asked, pausing in her tea-making activities. "Is something the matter?"

It was unwise to lie to one's alpha, but one could _sometimes_ manage to be evasive. "Oh, just thinking about Negi's situation, you know, how he's turned into a grown-up," he said, which was true, just not quite the whole truth. "I wonder if that's gonna make it not so cool for his Ministra. Did you know that Ayaka-nechan made a pactio with him?"

"Yes, of course," Chizuru said, bringing the tea kettle over to the table. "She got hers just a few hours after I got mine."

"Oh, I guess you would know about no wait wait wait _what?_"

Chizuru held up a card which depicted her grinning broadly and holding an onion stalk in one hand, which she'd produced from - actually, Kotaro found himself trying very hard not to think about from whence it had been produced. "Well, of course," she said. "I'll be working with him a lot, and Chamo-san thought it might come in handy if we made a pactio. So, we did."

"Oh," Kotaro said, blinking in amazement at how casual she was about it all. "Well, yeah, I guess that makes sense, I mean, he'll be trying to get help from Naba Industries, and ... and ... yeah." He decided to cover his discomfort by sipping the tea he was even now being served.

"Dear me," Chizuru said, regarding him speculatively. "I guess you really are worried now."

"Worried?" he asked, protesting. "What've I got to be worried about? Nothing! So naturally not, then!"

"Hmmm," she said. "Didn't you do it with Natsumi-chan?"

His face went bright red. "What? NO!"

Her eyebrow went up. "Excuse me? She told me about your pactio, though not a lot about the details."

"Oh," Kotaro said, who'd been fairly sure it was impossible for someone to be this embarrassed and still go on living, so really, he should be proud of himself for his fortitude.

"What did you _think_ I meant?"

"Ah, ah, ah -"

In a weirdly surreal moment, characters for the word, Intrigued, seemed to float over Chizuru's head. "Well, never mind that, for now. Now, about those details ... what was it like, kissing Natsumi-chan?"

"Gwhah?" Kotaro responded calmly. Okay, that description was a blatant lie.

"Were you gentle with her? You were, right?"

In the dorm room's antechamber, Natsumi, who'd just this moment come back from the store with groceries, was musing to herself that she'd probably rather die than go in to the room proper, where she could clearly hear the conversation between two of her roommates.

"Come on now, tell me all about it!" Chizuru's voice said. "Don't be shy now, Ko-"

And then ... silence fell, and lasted for several moments.

It was broken by her voice once more, only this time sounding utterly unlike her normally confident and cheerful self - rather disturbed, instead. "Ko-Kotaro-kun?" she asked.

"No!" he said, almost yelling. "No, this is not ... it's not what it - I've gotta go!"

"Wait, don't -"

He rushed past Natsumi, who'd just barely managed to make herself invisible with her artifact. For a dizzying second, though, she had the impression that he wouldn't have noticed her even if she was in plain sight, for he seemed intent on running with his hands oddly placed over his crotch, as though covering something.

_Whawhawhawha?_ Natsumi thought.

In the dining room, Chizuru, still standing in a position that left her leaning over the table, in a way that gave onlookers a very good glimpse at her cleavage, had an utterly startled look on her face.

"... but you're only twelve," she murmured. "So ... why ..."

**To Be Continued**


	2. Chapter 2

**Conquests of an Accidental Stud Monkey  
Chapter Two**

"I need to go buy some more clothes," said Negi.

The remark provoked a vaguely interested grunt from Asuna as she, with Konoka's help, went over her homework. Konoka's own reaction was a bit more emphatic. "Wheeee!" she declared, grinning broadly and eyes gleaming. "Shopping trip!" Journey towards adulthood or no journey towards adulthood, relationship upgrade or no relationship upgrade, some things just demanded ecstatic squeals of delight.

It startled him enough to get him to look up from the phone book he was consulting. "Eh?" he asked. On seeing the blinding grin on Konoka's face, he remembered another shopping trip, months ago. "Ohhh," he said, knowingly. "Um, I don't think -"

Before he could conclude, Konoka's face abruptly fell. "Oh, nuts," she said, with as much force as someone might use for a much more deletable expletive. "I'm not going to be able to come with you after all, Negi-kun. My mom asked me to come see her later. I think she wants to find out just how much I've learned about magic, which is really funny if you think about it the right way," she added dryly in a way that suggested that there really wasn't a right way to think about it.

"Oh, well, then I guess -"

"I can't go either, I've got a meeting with Mana scheduled to discuss payment terms," Asuna grumbled.

"Mana-chan is really going to make you pay for what Shiori-san got her to do, then?" Konoka asked.

"... that's one of the things that we're going to negotiate, but ... well, the fact that that person didn't do anything that I wouldn't have done under the circumstances puts me in a pretty bad position," Asuna admitted. "I mean, it's not like I'm hurting for money, anymore, what with the line of credit that Godel-san set up for me. I wish that they'd let me live on what I made at my old job delivering newspapers, but I guess it would cause problems."

"Quite a few of them," Negi agreed. "Well, it's all right, I can go and get new clothes on my own, after all."

Almost before the words left his mouth, Negi realized that he was being given The Look. He'd gotten used to being given The Look over the last year, though he always disliked it. Admittedly, every time he'd gotten The Look was really his own fault, since he only ever got it in response to something he'd said which exposed some naivete on his part.

"Negi," Asuna asked smoothly. "Were you planning on buying a bunch of white shirts, green jackets, and green trousers in your new size and calling it a day?"

Negi went back to looking at the phone book. "It's a perfectly serviceable outfit, I don't see the problem -" he said, just a bit softly.

"Exactly," she said.

"Fine," Negi said with the air of a sigh. "I guess that I'll ask Chachamaru to come with me, as my assistant, and -"

"I don't know, Negi," Konoka interjected. "She's a wonderful person, but I don't think she knows much about men's fashion. It's not something she'd ever have had cause to learn about." _And she'd just go along with whatever you proposed because she has got it baaaaaad,_ she added in the privacy of her own thoughts.

"That's true," Negi admitted. "... well, I guess we'll both have to seek out some advice from my advisor."

"Ah, good idea," Asuna said, nodding.

* * *

"Wait a minute!" Asuna protested, abruptly breaking into the scene dissolve. "He's got an _advisor_, too?

* * *

Hasegawa Chisame was not in a good mood.

One could say that was actually her default state. But that would be cruel, and untrue as well. Just like anyone else, Chisame's moods varied from good to bad. The difficulty was that it was often difficult for an observer - whether external or, according to some dubious sources, internal - to tell the difference between these states. But right now, Chisame thought even Poyo - _stupid stinking lunatic mazoku, where does she get off, telling me that I'm actually **really happy** with my stupid stinking lunatic life_ - would have agreed that she was in a bad mood.

Her idea of a blissful Sunday afternoon certainly didn't include leaving her wonderful air conditioned dorm room for any reason less pressing than 'the building is on fire'. When she'd agreed, with great reluctance, to become the little brat's adviser, her vaguely formed notion of what that would entail involved _him_ coming to _her_ when he needed her wise counsel, not the other way around. Yet here she was, marching through the hallway with a sour look on her face, answering the e-mail he'd sent her. And being annoyed at that development.

Well, the fact that he was using e-mail rather than the pactio she'd had forced on her (as she presently chose to remember events) or even the phone to contact her was sort of out of the ordinary. so if she had, for some strange reason, felt like being totally honest, she might have admitted that there was just a touch of worry mixed into her current mix of annoyance and discomfort. Which of course made it that much more 'fun'.

With a sigh, she arrived at the doorway and knocked, then waited for someone to say 'come in', like a normal person did. Not for her, barging in and seeing something that she shouldn't. Of course, she was well aware that the absurdity that was her life would probably lead to seeing something that she shouldn't _anyway_, but at least -

"It's open, come on in," she heard Kagurazaka's voice call out.

- she could take the satisfaction of knowing she did the right thing. "Excuse me," she said, opening the door and entering the dorm room.

Naturally, the first question that popped into her head when she saw him sitting at the table was, "Why are you aged up?"

Just as naturally, the first question that popped into head after that, once she'd been given a somewhat abbreviated (and, though she didn't know it, heavily expurgated) version of the events of the previous day, was "Are you _kidding_ me?"

"No, he's not," Kagurazaka said as she strolled back into the living room, having ducked into the kitchen briefly during Negi's explanation.

"I don't believe this," Chisame groaned. Then, shaking her head, she contradicted herself. "Wait, no, of _course_ I do. Why shouldn't I believe this? You routinely change shapes, so of course you'd get stuck in one of your other shapes at some point. It only stands to reason - for what passes for reason in storybook land."

"Well, I suppose it is a little absurd," Negi admitted. "But, well, anyway, I really do need your help to, um, pick out some new clothes that aren't just a variation on what I normally wear. This is important," he said without much conviction.

As visions of Negi, dressed in tight black leather pants, a red leather jacket and mirror shades, walking into class and being the subject of utter humiliation began to dance through some rather vengeful sectors of Chisame's mind - the same sectors which had put Chachamaru into a bunny costume during the festival, Asuna cleared her throat. "So you and Chachamaru are going to help, okay?"

The wonderful dream died quickly. Of course it did.

"Actually, you should probably go call Chachamaru now," Asuna suggested to Negi without taking her eyes off Chisame. "I think that Chisame-chan and I need to have a little chat."

Negi proceeded to give Asuna his own version of The Look. Annoyingly, she proved impervious to it, responding by giving him a 'scoot' gesture that he reluctantly obeyed, stepping out into the hallway and leaving the room to the two of them.

"Okay, first off, that Chisame-chan thing?" Chisame said abruptly, before Asuna had even turned back to look at her after watching Negi step out. "I let Konoe call me that because, well, I can't figure out how to get her to _stop_ calling me that without hurting her feelings and ending up cut to pieces by Sakurazaki, but I sure as hell won't take it from Akashi and certainly not from you! So quit it, already!"

"... okay, I apologize for the over-familiarity," Asuna said, after a moment. "But you do realize that Setsuna's _not_ actually a homicidal maniac, right?"

"I realize that she's eased up a little, but I still remember how she used to glare murderous intent at anyone who made fun of Konoe even two years ago," Chisame retorted.

Asuna blinked. "Huh. I never noticed that. You're really perceptive, you know?"

"Sorry for being perceptive," Chisame answered.

"... it wasn't an insult, that's -" Asuna broke off, shook her head. "Are you like this with everybody?" she asked plaintively.

"No, only with people who drag me off for private conversations that I'm not looking forward to having," Chisame snarked, looking away.

"Oookay," Asuna sat down at the table, hands folded in front of her. "Since you seem to have a better idea of how this is supposed to go than I do, why don't you tell me what I'm trying to say to you?"

"Why not?" Chisame said, becoming more animated. "You're obviously about to tell me to stop being so damn familiar with the brat, just because because you're here, now, and you don't want someone stepping on your toes. "

"Nope."

Chisame blinked, but when Asuna didn't look inclined to elaborate on her short negation, she found herself pressing on regardless. "You don't care whether I step on your toes -"

"I'm not even sure what you mean by that," Asuna murmured.

"- but you don't want me to do anything like punching him when he pisses me off."

"I don't mind," Asuna interjected. She tilted her head slightly. "I'm honestly a little envious, I have to pull out my harisen to do that, generally. How do you manage it?"

"I don't know," Chisame growled. "Okay, so if none of that was it, what _are_ you trying to tell me?"

Asuna stood up, walked over to where Chisame was standing, and - before Chisame could react - she hugged her. "I'm trying to thank you for having been there for him, when I couldn't be," she said, firmly but gently. "And I'm trying to ask you to keep on doing that, when - _if_ there's ever a time when I can't be, again."

Chisame stood in frozen shock at having been hugged.

"Like, specifically, in about five minutes, because I've really got to get going if I'm not going to be late to meet up with Mana," Asuna added, shaking her head as she stepped back. "Oh, there's one other thing - Negi occasionally can use a good smack upside the head, but could you _try_ to be a little nicer to Chachamaru? She really likes you, y'know?"

"Wha-wha-wha-" Chisame attempted to reply.

* * *

"What kind of person does that?" Chisame said somewhat later. That was what she had been trying to say to Asuna, she'd decided, which was only a moderate revision of historical fact for her. "Just hugs someone, out of nowhere, like that! Someone they barely even know, haven't ever actually talked all that much with before now, and then bam! Hugging! What kind of person does that?"

"I'm honestly as surprised by it as you are," Negi answered her as he trailed along behind her down the sidewalk, with Chachamaru walking beside him. "She didn't hug me until after we'd been living together for months."

"Yes, I believe that Asuna-san does generally require more time to become physically demonstrative of her affection," the gynoid concurred quietly. "Her interactions with Master would support this."

"Admittedly, she'd kissed me before that, so I suppose that I might not be the best example," Negi mused.

It occurred to Chisame that, to an unwitting observer who'd overheard these sentences - like several people who'd passed them on the sidewalk over the last few minutes - might find them a bit perplexing, even suspicious. (As, indeed, a few of them clearly did, judging by a quick glance back at them.) Middle school students did not normally talk about things like 'living together" or "Masters". At least, normal middle school students didn't talk about that.

And yet annoyingly, she and Negi were the ones getting looked at more than Chachamaru, who was no doubt just a a girl who liked to pretend to be a robot, in the eyes of these people, rather than -

_She really likes you, you know._

Chisame grimaced, forced herself not to think of the phrase 'a robot who liked to pretend to be a girl', and felt her teeth grinding inside her mouth.

Fortunately, they arrived at the first store that Negi had picked out as a likely place to acquire new clothing. To no one's surprise, it was a store that dealt primarily in suits.

"... it's spooky, how you can give me a Look in the same way that Asuna can," Negi said to Chisame, who was glaring at him.

She ignored that, because it was something that should be ignored. "You've already got a suit in your size. You're _wearing_ a suit in your size. Why do you need _another_ suit in your size?" Chisame asked.

"In case this one is dirty and I need to be somewhere while it's being laundered," Negi answered promptly.

"... it genuinely disturbs me, how you can quickly rattle off a plausible-sounding explanation like that," she said. "Fine, let's get a suit. But _not_ green."

"Black supposedly goes with everything," Chachamaru supplied helpfully.

"That's for dresses, but ... well, it's not a bad idea."

"Oh, I don't think so," said Negi, shaking his head as he followed them into the store. "There's an implication of authority that comes from dressing in black which I'm not comfortable assuming, just yet."

"You're a teacher and one of the secret masters of the world," Chisame droned. "It's a little late to start worrying about that."

"That's -" Negi broke off, shaking his head. "We should probably not discuss that here," he said quietly, noting that the store was, as such stores generally are, occupied by a number of helpful employees who were close enough to overhear them talking. (He found it a bit disturbing that _he_ was the one who was pointing this out to _Chisame_.)

* * *

"This is what Seruhiko-sensei wears, isn't it?" Negi asked a few moments later as he considered a light blue jacket.

"Not precisely the same style, but the same color," Chachamaru agreed. "It would make a nice contrast with your hair."

"I wouldn't want him to think that I'm copying him, though. It might hurt his feelings. But you're right, it's not bad. Certainly better than that purple thing we looked at earlier," he added disgustedly. The two of them shook their heads in unison.

"What is it with you and suits, anyway?" Chisame asked at last, having finally had all she could stand of this. "It doesn't really seem to fit."

"Eh?" Negi said, turning to look at her. "No, this is in my size. See?" He slid his arm into one of the jacket sleeves to demonstrate.

"No, that's not what I mean," Chisame said, somehow keeping her impatience from seizing ahold of her tongue like it sometimes did. "I've seen photos of your dad, you know. I don't think he was wearing a suit in any of them. So then why do you always wear one?"

"Oh," Negi said, blushing a bit. "Well. It's what a teacher is supposed to do, isn't it?"

"You're being evasive," she told him.

"Am I?" he asked.

"You're _still_ doing it!"

He pouted. "Well, it's a little embarrassing, you see. Other than my sister and the people in our village, the first person I'd ever met who actually knew my father was Takamichi. And practically from the first moment we met, he was telling me how much he was always striving to be like my father, which was something that I wanted to do as well, of course."

"Of course," Chisame echoed a bit more sardonically - and was promptly startled that she was speaking in stereo with Chachamaru, who favored her with a small smile.

Ignoring this byplay, Negi continued. "Since we were both following the same path, I guess you could say that I took Takamichi's style as a model to follow. I didn't realize until much later that while he does look up to and admire my father, his style is more or less inspired by his own master, Gateau-san." He shrugged.

"So the whole thing comes out of a misunderstanding," Chisame concluded.

"Also wanting to present a respectable image for my students," he added, just a bit pointedly.

"Yeah, well, respect isn't really what you've managed to inspire in a lot of them," she told him, shaking her head.

"Yes, that's been made clear, particularly after what happened last night," he answered without really thinking it through.

Normally, at this point, there would be a mention of how a silence descended upon those who were having this conversation, along with hints that it went on for a while. The truth of the matter, though, is that there was maybe only a second or so between Negi making that somewhat inopportune statement and Chisame grabbing hold of his shoulders, hefting him an inch or so off the ground, and dashing rapidly into the store's small change room, closing the door behind them.

"Excuse me," said one of the aforementioned helpful employees, approaching quickly. "It's against store policy to allow more than one person into a change room at a time, so -"

"Could you please make an exception?" Chachamaru asked, quietly looming over the helpful employee, and pitching her voice in a way as to suggest terrible fates awaiting.

"What? Happened? Last? Night?" Chisame asked as she pushed Negi up against the wall.

* * *

The interior lights were out when Ayaka arrived in the dorm room, and what illumination there was came dimly through cracks in the drawn curtains. Despite this, her reflexive announcement of her arrival had been answered, softly, by Chizuru's voice, so she knew that she wasn't alone in the room. And indeed, once she walked out of the hallway, she could see Chizuru sitting on the couch, staring at the TV, which was off. It was, to be honest, just a bit creepy.

"Um ... pardon my impertinence, Chizuru-san, but why are you sitting alone in the dark like this?" she asked.

Chizuru didn't answer immediately. Ayaka found herself wondering whether she ought to repeat it, when at last the answer did come. "I am doing this because I did something bad," she said quietly. "And since there's no one to send me to my room, I am punishing myself by these methods."

Ayaka considered this statement for a few moments. Then, nodding sharply, she went over and turned the lights on.

"Ayaka -" Chizuru started to say, looking up.

"Balloon juice," Ayaka announced.

Chizuru gaped. "... did you seriously just say 'balloon juice'?"

"Yes, I did," Ayaka replied proudly. "Why not? It's a perfectly serviceable expletive."

"And I'm certain that if any of our grandparents were present, they'd be gripped by nostalgia ... for the way that _their_ grandparents used to talk," Chizuru mused aloud, continuing to gaze in disbelief at her room-mate.

"Be that as it may," Ayaka continued. "I utterly, utterly reject your premise. You forget that you are speaking to one who has known you since kindergarten. You are no more capable of doing something 'bad' than I am capable of doing something undignified." She ignored the coughing fit into which Chizuru inexplicably descended at that point. "You are sometimes stern, other times mischievous, but you could never do anything that would deliberately hurt someone or their feelings. So then. How did you come to this misunderstanding?"

Chizuru was well-aware that she had a better chance of flapping her arms and flying to the moon than she did of dissuading Ayaka from pursuing this subject. So, not without a certain relucance on her part, she told the tale of what had happened. When it was over, she took a certain grim satisfaction in seeing that Ayaka was thoroughly disconcerted by what she'd just heard.

"He, he had a, a -" the other girl stammered, blushing brightly.

"Boner," Chizuru supplied.

"That, yes," Ayaka bit out, blush now providing far more light than the windows did. She shook herself, and resumed speaking somewhat more normally. "All right, that's ... disturbing. But I don't see any misdeed by you in any of this, Chizuru-san."

The formality of Ayaka's speech, in contrast to her own easy familiarity with the girl, usually didn't bother Chizuru very much. But now, it was grating a bit. "I provoked him, Ayaka. It's one thing to tease someone, but it's quite another to do things that make a growing young man so uncomfortable that he feels he has to run off like he did. I did wrong, and I'm not sure how to make it right."

Ayaka was silent, which was rather disturbing in itself. At last, she spoke up. "Does Natsumi-san know about this?"

"I think so," Chizuru replied with a nod. "She came in right after he left, acted like nothing was wrong, and then quickly went out again. I hope she went after him. I hope that she found him."

"Are you sure that you hope that?" Ayaka asked. "After all, she might get angry that he was -"

"She's not that kind of a girl," Chizuru interjected sharply ... then added, more somberly, "I don't think so, at least."

"... so let me guess, you're also upset that you might have hurt her feelings, too," Ayaka said after another moment of silence.

"It's disturbing, how you can be so perceptive sometimes -"

"You really love those two, don't you?" Ayaka interjected.

"- and so _not_ at others," Chizuru said with a sigh. "I care about them, yes, but you know perfectly well who I love, Ayaka." And having said that, she watched Ayaka grow stiff and uncomfortable, again.

"We talked about this," Ayaka said, softly, after a moment.

"Yes, we did," Chizuru agreed.

"I accept your feelings," Ayaka continued, very precisely, very formally. "But I ... I cannot, do not, return them. I thought that you understood that."

"I understand it completely," Chizuru said. To Ayaka, she almost sounded amused as she continued. "I understood it before we went to Wales. I understood it as soon as I understood my own feelings, four years ago. I've known you as long as you've known me, Ayaka. I never expected you to return my feelings."

"Then why?" Ayaka asked, aware that her frustration was coming out in her own tone, but feeling as helpless as she always did to control it. "Why did you say that, why do you keep on -"

"Because it is beautiful, this never-to-be-requited love of mine, and the fact that it causes me pain is a part of its beauty." She tapped the beauty mark on her face, legendarily a sign of tears shed.

"I don't want you to know pain because of me!"

"Oh, dear." Chizuru actually chuckled.

"It's not funny!"

"No, but you are, dear one. Would you really be happier if I gave up on you and started chasing after Kotaro-kun?" she asked, somewhat abruptly.

Ayaka looked like she wanted to say, 'yes', or possibly something even more emphatic in agreement. But she didn't say anything.

"Well, then, perhaps I will," she mused. "Given the givens, he and Natsumi-chan haven't made nearly as much progress as I'd like. A little rivalry might help the girl. And it'd be good practice."

"Practice? Practice for what?" Ayaka asked, now thoroughly disconcerted.

Chizuru's smile took on a decidedly scary aspect. "For when I start chasing after Negi-kun. He's an awfully good kisser, after all."

Ayaka's jaw dropped.

"I'll share him, of course," Chizuru offered.

* * *

"I'm actually sort of proud of you, Chisame-san," Negi said - well, croaked, since with her forearm over his throat, it was a little difficult to talk. "You haven't once mentioned that I'm going to get stabbed. That's real progress in dealing with your anger-management problem."

"I had a little insight a little while ago," Chisame hissed.

"That's good, insight should be encouraged, and - I'll shut up now."

"Basically, when I was talking to Kagurazaka, I realized that the only way that I can possibly be doing these things to you is if you _let_ me do them," she growled. "In other words, you _want_ me to do this to you. Because you know, if I do this to you, I'll be embarrassed afterwards and apologetic like I always am, and it'll be a great distraction from what you just said."

"I'm not that Machiavellian," Negi protested awkwardly.

"Well, it's not going to work!" Chisame snapped, ignoring that protest. "Tell me what happened last night! For a fleeting moment, I figured they must have dressed you up in girls' clothes again, but then I realized that doesn't work with your current look! So what was it? What happened last night"

Despite everything he'd just said about not being Machiavellian, Negi realized that he could make up a plausible sounding story. Perhaps he could claim that Konoka had, on seeing his adult form again, confessed that she actually found herself just as attracted to him as she was to - well, that she was willing to go through with the marriage arrangements that the Headmaster kept pushing on them, and how there'd been chaos in the room after that revelation. All of which would have been _technically_ true, while avoiding the whole truth.

But ...

This was Chisame. This was the girl who wanted to live a normal life, who'd put it on hold to follow him into danger and chaos and definitely-not-normal events. Who'd agonized over a decision of whether to save his life or his dreams. Who smiled bravely at him when he was reborn.

This was Chisame. He couldn't lie to her.

So he didn't. "Sex happened," he said - rather weakly, he had to admit.

Chisame gaped. "Sex happened," she repeated.

Negi nodded to the best of his ability, considering the forearm obstructing the movement of his neck and all that.

"You ... and Kagurazaka, right?" she asked. "That almost makes sense, she's all touchy-feely now. But, but why did ... oh, God, don't tell me you also did it with Konoe, too?" she exclaimed.

He nodded again. "And, well, also with Setsuna-san. I suppose I should just call her Setsuna after this, but somehow -"

"You had a fucking foursome for your first time!" Chisame almost squeaked - her voice was pitched high, but avoiding loud volume. "What is this, I don't even -" And then she fell ominously silent.

"And, well, all of the girls were also with each other, but I suppose that's not really the issue here," Negi continued. "Um ... I know that it was wrong, but ... well, I can't really apologize for it, since I really, really enjoyed it, and, well, Setsuna wasn't happy but I think she has problems _being_ happy that I can't really help her with, and Konoka and Asuna seemed pretty okay with it when we did it again this morning in the shower and -"

"Okay," Chisame said at last. "I just can't take it anymore. So that's how it's going to be, huh? Fine. If that's what Kagurazaka was talking about, then that's how it's going to be. _Fine._" And with that last, hissed word, she reached down with the hand that wasn't pressed against his throat, and yanked the end of his belt out of its loops, momentarily tightening it enough to make him squeak a bit (in surprise, not pain) before it loosened and released the buckle in the process. Then her hand went down into the pants which were loose on his hips, and wrapped around the member inside them.

"We're going to fuck," Chisame announced.

"Wait, no," Negi babbled. "This, this is a bad idea, and strange things are coming out of your mouth again!"

"You say that too damn often!" Chisame sneered as she continued to jerk his hardening member.

"Twice!" he yelped. "I've said that twice! And it's true!"

"Whatever! Strange things are about to go into my mouth, too!" And with that, she promptly suited her actions to her declaration, dropping to her knees on the change room and wrapping her lips around the head of his unit.

"Gyargh!" Negi said, any resistance he might have put up to this act paralyzed by the sensations she was provoking in him. "No, this is a terrible idea!" he protested nonetheless. "I'm sure that the people in the store can clearly hear what's going on in here!"

* * *

"I can clearly hear what's going on in there!" protested the first employee who'd come over to object, for the moment seeming more morally outraged than frightened of Chachamaru, who was - without trying terribly hard - holding her back from charging towards the door to the change room. The fact that she was doing that - without trying terribly hard - was keeping the other employees (and one or two customers) from approaching too closely.

"Perhaps you are imagining things," Chachamaru suggested.

"No I'm not!"

"Perhaps things are not as they seem."

"Yes they are!"

"Are you familiar with the concept of elephant privacy?" Chachamaru asked, very patiently.

"Ye- N- What?" the employee burst out at last, genuinely bewildered.

"Elephants are, of course, far too large to employ any manner of camouflage when they are engaged in carnal activities with each other. Therefore, whenever they are doing so, other members of the herd will politely ignore them and make as much noise as possible to scare away would-be predators who might take advantage of the coupling elephants distraction. In a way, it is a celebration, of sorts."

"... what ... what in the world does that have to do with this situation?" the employee asked, still dumbfounded.

"Nothing, really. I just thought it was an interesting story. In any event, please don't disturb the people I love, or I will become unhappy."

"Yes!" shrieked a female voice from inside the changing room.

* * *

"Yes yes yes!" Chisame repeated herself somewhat more quietly as her back and her head bumped against the rear wall of the change room while, down between her legs, Negi had assumed a position much like the one she'd been in a few moments ago, licking and sucking at her cleft. The motions which had led to this exchange of postures, as well as getting Chisame's jeans off of her legs and onto the floor, had been complicated and difficult to describe - though admittedly it might only have seemed that way to Chisame's perceptions, which were somewhat disoriented at the moment.

"Get up here," she gasped after a moment.

Negi pulled away from her and stood shakily up, so that their faces were together and their crotches were touching as well. "Are, are you sure -" he started to ask.

She slapped a hand over his mouth. "See, I have this feeling that I'm supposed to give you this speech about how you're drawing away from us -"

"Nuh, duhdz -" Negi tried to protest.

She ignored him. "- and how I don't want that, how I'm going to do whatever I have to do to keep you with us, and all kinds of shit like that, but screw all that! Yes, this is what I want! So hurry up and -"

Anticipating her words slightly, Negi reached down, adjusted himself, and then pushed his length up into her. Behind her glasses, Chisame's eyes went wide. Whatever else she'd been about to say was reduced to a short gasp of pain.

"Chisame-san!" Negi gasped, getting his mouth clear of her hand quite easily.

"I! Don't! Believe it!" she hissed. "All that crap I went through this summer, all the diddling I've done in my room, and I'm still a virgin?"

"D-do you want to stop -" he asked.

"NO!" she snapped, startling him. And with that, she flexed her hips, bringing them up to wrap around his waist so that her ankles crossed behind his back, so that he was pounding her against the wall.

"Tell me I'm pretty!" she cried out a little while later.

"No!" Negi replied. "You're beautiful, not pretty!"

"Damn liar!" Chisame snapped. "I'm not beautiful, I know I'm not, you don't have to make fun of me! Nobody with zits like -"

"What zits?!" Negi snapped right back. "You're a beautiful, charming and sweet person whom I'm glad to know, you make me happy when I'm with you, if anything ever happened to you I don't know what I'd do, Chisame, I lugh oo!"

The last words were muffled by Chisame's hand. "Don't say such stupid things!" she yelled. "Not even, not when we're - I don't - I - nyaaaaagh!" she concluded at last, the primal scream making its way up her throat from where her orgasm had finally exploded, triggering his own, equally noisy release.

They collapsed to the floor when they were done, breathing heavily (in her case, at least.)

After a moment, Negi reached out to press his own hand over Chisame's mouth, staring deep into her eyes as he did so.

She blinked, then understanding dawned. Still, she hesitated for a moment, before making noises approximated by the sounds, "Uh lugh oo, oo."

At that point, there was a rather sharp knock on the door. "Excuse me, is everything all right in there?" asked the helpful employee, doing her level best to pretend that this wasn't a rhetorical question.

* * *

"I can't believe I did that," Chisame repeated tonelessly as she walked down the street ahead of Chachamaru and Negi.

Several minutes, and a few reiterations of Chisame's inability to credit her own actions, had passed since they left the store, having purchased several complete suits - in a variety of colors and styles, of course - and left a generous tip for the employee who'd been _so_ helpful in picking them out and _so_ level-headed about accepting that there was no proof that anything untoward had gone on in the changing room. (Bribery - was there anything it _couldn't_ do?) Aside from Chisame's abrupt change of attitude - which was honestly not all that surprising, really, even if she did go through them with breathtaking frequency - Negi thought that things had gone pretty well, all told.

"You're thinking that things went pretty well, all told, aren't you?" Chisame hissed, abruptly rounding on him. She was starting to find the fact that she couldn't loom over him like she'd been able to do before to be pretty frustrating.

"Well, didn't they?" he asked, then flinched in anticipation of the punch that was sure to follow.

"Oh, you would think that, wouldn't you?" Chisame growled.

"... yes, I guess I would," Negi agreed, relieved that no punch seemed to be in the offing, for whatever reason.

"I think they went well, too," Chachamaru said happily from beside and a little behind Negi. "Really, the only way things could get better is if I had some more kittens."

"Would you like some?" he asked her abruptly. "I think there's a pet store nearby."

Chachamaru considered it while Chisame stared at the two of them in mute fury. "No, I don't think so," she said at last, sounding just a little regretful. "The ones that I have now consume a great deal of my time, though I have found homes for several of the older ones. It would be selfish, in any event, to purchase more simply for my own satisfaction. But I appreciate the thought nonetheless, Negi-sensei."

"You're welcome."

"You're also nuts!" Chisame yelled at length. "Why aren't you getting mad about this?"

Chachamaru blinked. "Why should I get mad? Two of the people I care about most in this world have grown closer together. This is an occasion for joy on my part, not sorrow or anger."

"You - you -" Chisame bit out, then made an incoherent roaring noise. "I'm going to wind you up so damn hard!"

Now Chachamaru's smile seemed to grow just a bit ... mischievous? Or possibly sensuous? "If it's Chisame-san, then that's all right. Really, it would be nice if the two of you _both_ -"

"Gaaaaah!" Chisame began stomping away from the two of them.

"Are you really all right with this?" Negi asked Chachamaru quietly.

"The thought of both of you turning my key almost makes my circuits overload with anticipation," the gynoid answered with total candor. "I hope it will feel much better than when Asakura did it."

"Uh," said Negi, now flustered. "That's, that's -"

"Not what you meant. Of course. Yes, I am all right. She can give you what I never can, Negi-sensei," she told him.

"Oh. Um. Well ... I'm happy that you're happy, Chachamaru-san. Um ... are you going to tell Master about this?"

Chachamaru feigned a sigh. "I believe that my directives require me to do so," she admitted. "If you are concerned -"

"No," he said. "I'm just ... I don't know how she's going to react," he admitted at last.

"What the hell are you two standing around whispering for?!" Chisame yelled back at them, having realized at last that they weren't following along behind her.

"Much like that, I should think," Chachamaru opined.

* * *

Haneoka Sei considered herself to be a moral person. In this she was mistaken; most people who consider themselves moral people are, and the revelation of the same is usually just as unpleasant for them as it was for Sei. She was coping with the realization that her principles were for sale - as demonstrated by her acceptance of a rather large 'tip' earlier that day - by spending her ill-gotten gains on coffee at a local coffee house, and complaining about the situation to the remarkably patient person who'd been sitting at the table beside hers when she'd arrived.

"I mean, okay, if people want to duck into the change room for a little make out time, you'd probably look the other way for a while," she explained. "But those two? Clearly having sex! What the hell is the world coming to, when middle school students are popping into change rooms to have sex!" She drank her coffee, then continued, a little more quietly. "I mean, I can see what she saw in the guy. Really, really hot for a Westerner. I think he was English, or something. That smile of his made me go weak at the knees. But dammit, no matter how hot you are, you shouldn't be having sex in a change room! Don't you think?"

"I agree completely," said Asakura Kazumi. "Tell me more about these two, okay?"

**To Be Continued**


	3. Chapter 3

Mahou Sensei Negima _was created by Akamatsu Ken. This is parody, protected speech._

**Conquests of An Accidental Stud Monkey**  
**Chapter Three**

"You want to know about my plans for the future?" Asakura asked, smiling like she almost always did, while leaning back against the classroom wall. "Interesting question. It's really rude, of course, to answer a question with a question, so I hope you'll forgive me if I ask what prompts your interest. Which is technically not a question itself."

"Oh, of course not," Setsuna agreed, then shook her head quickly. "Or rather, I mean, of course I'll forgive you. Um. What I mean is ... I'm honestly not sure why I'm asking. Well, I know why I'm asking you, I mean, you seem to have, or at least, you seem to me to have a certain ..." She paused, waving a hand in the air beside her head as though to simulate the motion of her thoughts.

"_Je ne sais quoi_?" Asakura supplied.

"I don't know what that means," Setsuna admitted.

"... right. You're saying that I seem like the sort of person who has already worked out what they want to do with their life. Well ... yeah." She nodded and held up her notebook. "I suspect that I'm going to be working on following Negi-kun's life story for a while to come. I won't be able to publish it for a long time, after all. But when the two worlds start coming closer together, then it's all going to come out, and I'm going to be right there in the thick of it." Her grin was almost fierce.

"That does sound like a very admirable goal," Setsuna agreed, smiling back at her. "Thank -"

"And the story keeps taking some really interesting twists, too," Asakura added. "Like this thing where he's suddenly all grown up."

Setsuna's smile faded. "You, uh, you heard about that," she said, not really making it a question.

"Um, yeah," Asakura replied, just a little sarcastically. "Come on, Setchi, it happened - well, sort of happened - right in front of two of the biggest gossips in class. After two days? _Everybody_ knows at this point."

"Oh dear," Setsuna groaned, too concerned about the fallout from this to even briefly worry about the fact that she'd just gotten another nickname. "Well, in the interests of getting the story straight -"

"Always a priority for me."

"- he's not grown-up, he's ... well, he's our age," she concluded.

"Old enough to be thinking about their future plans, in other words," Asakura asked archly.

"Well, yes."

"... and old enough to be having sex, apparently."

"Damn," Asakura added, a moment or so later, as she regained her footing in the girls bathroom. "I mean, I knew you were fast, Setchi, but getting me all the way from our class to here in, man, how long? A few seconds? Should Misora be worried?"

"How?" Setsuna squeaked. "How did you know that Negi-kun has done it with me, and ojousama, and Asuna-himesama? _How_?"

Kazumi stared at her for a few moments, before answering, in a very gentle and calming tone, "_You_ told me."

"Ah!" Setsuna cried, covering her face. "Curse your newshound instincts! You have obviously deduced the horrible truth from some subtle movement of my facial features!"

"... sure, let's go with that," Asakura agreed, since she suspected that clarifying the actual situation would probably lead to the cute bird girl committing harikiri or something like that. "And he also did it with Chiuchi."

"Eh?" asked Setsuna, dropping her hands. "With Chisame? I didn't know that!"

"Newshound instincts."

"Of course, of course," she said. "Red-haired demon," she added, much more quietly.

Asakura caught that, but, under the circumstances, it was probably better to just let it slide for now. "So it's finally happened," she narrated. "The little heartbreaker has at last embraced his destiny, and, more literally, a bunch of the girls who've always been around him. Who will be the next to surrender to his monstrous charm?" She sighed. "It'd make one hell of a story."

"No!" Setsuna cried, waving her hands in Asakura's face. "You definitely can't -"

"'- tell anyone,' yes, yes, I know," Asakura interrupted wearily. "Even without the magic aspects of it, I'm pretty sure the student newspaper wouldn't print it, anyway. Relax, Setchi."

"And please stop calling me that!" Setsuna cried, continuing to wave her hands.

That, of course, she ignored. "Besides, I kinda feel sort of responsible for this whole situation, what with the 'Kiss Negi-sensei for big prizes' thing a while ago, and the way I pushed him to accept Chachamaru as his secretary, and probably other stuff, too. But anyway, I just want to have a talk with the boy, and tell him that he should probably slow down before he starts building an actual harem. I mean, those are funny in stories, but not so much in real life, don't you think?"

"I agree, I agree," Setsuna agreed. "Such playboys are the enemies of all women."

"... eh, I wouldn't go that far," Asakura said, grinning broadly once more.

Then Setsuna frowned. "Wait. I thought you were gay."

Once again, Asakura regained her footing a moment or so later. "The heck?" she asked, staring incredulously at Setsuna. "Leaving aside the incredibly rude assumptions you're making about my personal life, how does that question even remotely follow from what I was saying?"

"Well, if you don't have any objections to Negi-sensei turning into a playboy, then you must be in favor of it, and so you must want have that sort of interest in him as well, and so -" Setsuna continued to demonstrate her notion of subtlety.

"There are gradations between those two extremes, you know!" Asakura protested. She cut off Setsuna's response with a wave of her hand. "I'm _not_ in favor of the notion of Negi-kun being a playboy, whatever that means in your messed-up notions, but I _am_ in favor of anything that puts a little bit of happiness in that kid's life! He's had it rough, and it's only going to get harder from here with what he's taken on himself. So if he wants to fool around with a few girls, and they don't mind, I say let him."

"... so then you are gay?" Setsuna asked, eyebrows high on her forehead.

"Nghhhh," Asakura replied, yanking her hair in annoyance. A deep breath later, she continued speaking more calmly. "Why exactly are you under the impression that I'm that way inclined?" Perhaps a bit _too_ calmly.

"Well, there was the way you kept encouraging ojousama and I to try kissing each other, saying it's perfectly natural for girls our age to experiment a little," Setsuna answered.

"It _is_!"

Setsuna ignored that interjection, as it was wholly irrelevant to her theme. "Which would imply that you've done it yourself," she concluded.

Asakura coughed. "_If_ I have, and it's nobody's business but mine if I have, then it is perfectly natural and understandable, and does not mean that I am gay," she concluded.

"So have you?" Setsuna pressed.

"What did I _just now_ say about it not being anybody else's business?"

"Have you?" Setsuna repeated.

"Sakurazaki, seriously, why do you want to know about my sex life?"

"You know about mine!"

"... craaap," Asakura groaned.

"Well?" Setsuna demanded. She was somewhat surprised by how good it felt to be the one making demands for once. It wasn't that she minded submitting to her mistress's will, quite the contrary, but ... well, that was a line of thought that shouldn't go anywhere.

"Okay okay okay," Asakura replied. Then she took a deep breath. "No," she answered.

Setsuna stared. "No?" she repeated.

"No, I've never experimented with other girls. I don't have any objection to it, but, well, the only other girl I've ever spent enough time around to be comfortable enough to do that sort of thing with is Sayo, and ... well, not only is she about a million times more conservative than I am and still crushing on some half-remembered guy from back then, but there's also the whole thing about her being a ghost and thus not really susceptible to any kissing type actions that I might want to undertake. So, there you have it."

Normally, Asakura was pretty good at picking up on the mood of the people with whom she was talking. That was a pretty essential skill for someone who wanted to be a newshound, after all. But everyone had off-moments, and this was proving to be one of hers, as she took Setsuna's silent gaze at her for an incredulous disbelief.

"Seriously, I've never done it. I always sort of wanted to, but I never had the chance. When you get right down to it, I'd have to say that I'm kind of jealous of girls like you and Kono-chin, who - Did you just hear a grinding noise just now? Oh, never mind. Like I was saying, I'm jealous of girls who do have such a close tight bond, and I guess I tease you to make myself feel better. I'm sorry if it's made you feel uncomfortable, and I'll try to stop doing it from now on. Wow, I really actually do feel a lot better getting this all off my chest. Thanks -"

And that was when Setsuna punched the bathroom wall right beside Asakura's head, leaving a clear impression of her knuckles and alerting the other girl to her misreading of Setsuna's mood.

Asakura's eyes darted to the side, then turned back to look at Setsuna, who was still giving her that silent gaze. "Ummm, Setsuna-san? Would I be correct in concluding you've become a tad bit upset at me for some reason?"

"Why no," Setsuna answered in a silkily smooth voice. "I'm not the least bit angry."

"Oh, shit," muttered Asakura, who had seen _The Mikado._

"It doesn't upset me at all to learn that my mistress might very well have been drawn in the direction of her recent misbehavior as a result of your jealous trickery. I'm not outraged by your referral to her by an overly familiar nickname. Well, actually, I am a bit infuriated by all of that." Setsuna took a deep breath, and smiled beatifically. "But I do not believe in violence."

Asakura silently and (_quite_ involuntarily) expressed disbelief.

"Except against persons who have deliberately attempted to harm me or my charges," the bodyguard clarified. "Which you have not. So therefore, I am going to return your _accidental_ misdeeds with a good one on my part. _Pucker up, sugar lips,_" she concluded, somewhat less silkily.

"Wha -" said Asakura, who then found it somewhat hard to speak on account of being kissed.

It was funny, because even though she'd already had a few first hand, close-up demonstrations of exactly how strong Setsuna was, Asakura still found herself surprised at how _easily_ the other girl was able to lift her completely up off the floor, and then smoothly shift her over to one of the bathroom sinks, dumping her butt into it so that her legs splayed widely. "W-wait a minute, now," she protested feebly. "This isn't right!"

"How very true," Setsuna agreed fiercely as she slid Asakura's skirt further up her hips. "I am in total agreement that one should definitely wear spats beneath these skirts. And yet your protests are hypocritical, for I see only panties here. Indeed, ones almost as naughty as those of Ayase-san!" Two fingers lanced down, twisted the string of the panties around themselves, and drew them so forcefully that they snapped in an instant.

It was also faintly bewildering how the first thing that went through Asakura's head was the question, 'How does she know about Yuetchi's panties?' Admittedly, it only stayed there a few seconds, to be replaced by more immediate concerns. "No, this is - you're cheating on Konoka-san! You shouldn't do that!"

"Go ahead and call her Kono-chin," Setsuna growled as she tore the other panty string and yanked the cloth between the tatters back. "And as for that, free love for all seems to be her motto, and so I will honor ojousama's beliefs, which she herself is doubtless exploring by having sex with Asuna-himesama or somebody right at this very moment!"

* * *

In fact, right at the moment, Konoka was sitting in class like the girl that she usually pretended to be, frowning heavily and wondering why Setchan had picked today to cut class, and suffering through listening to Fate perfectly enunciate a passage from New Horizon which - oh, so coincidentally - happened to be on the subject of missing one's friends when they weren't around.

Of course, he wasn't making her read any of it. That would have been _too_ pointed.

Nonetheless, she was not having a good time. And she quietly swore, as others before her had, that their substitute teacher was going down.

* * *

"But still -" Asakura tried to protest.

"There's only one way that I'm stopping, Asakuchi!" Setsuna snapped.

"_Asakuchi?_" the redubbed redhead repeated, horrified.

"All you need do to make me stop is to say, 'Please, Setsuna-sama, I do not wish to ever engage in experimentation with girls! It is wrong for two girls to do such things together! I am a nosy know-it-all who actually knows nothing!'" She glared at Asakura.

"... p-p-please - ah, no, I can't do it! I refuse to claim to be a know-it-all!" Asakura cried, covering her face with her hands. "Please be gentle!"

_The one part of that which is actually true, and she balks at it,_ Setsuna griped inwardly, but she was committed now. Taking a deep breath, she dropped her mouth down between Kazumi's spread thighs and began doing to her the things that she remembered Asuna and her mistress doing to _her_, albeit a bit more forcefully than they had.

"Oh, holy shiiiiiiiitttt!" Asakura shrieked in abject ecstasy.

It seemed to be effective.

* * *

Several minutes and a slightly smaller number of toe-curling orgasms later, Asakura poked her head out of the washroom door and looked down the hallway quickly before stepping the rest of the way out into it. "I think the coast is clear."

"That's nice," said a faint voice from inside the bathroom. "I'm considering drowning myself in one of the toilets."

The red-head let out a sigh. "Get out here," she said rather forcefully.

A moment later, she was joined outside the washroom by a Setsuna whose face was almost as red as her own hair and who steadfastly refused to meet her eye.

"Would you stop that, please?" Asakura asked wearily. "I'm not mad at you."

"You should be," Setsuna said to the floor, or at least directed her words as well as her gaze in that general direction. "And moreover, I am disgusted with myself. I have betrayed ojousama!"

"What about the whole thing where she's probably screwing someone else right now?" Asakura asked, eyebrow lifted.

Setsuna flinched. "I have no proof of that," she said. "And even if I did ... even if I did ... I know that ojousama's heart is too vast to ever be given to one person! She can love the whole world!" For a change, this was directed at the ceiling.

"Okay, don't go giving her ideas like that," Asakura advised. "Seriously, Setchi -"

"Are we back to thaaat?"

"Keep it up and I'll start calling _you_ sugar lips," she snapped. "Look, I'm not angry at you, and you shouldn't be angry at yourself. That was great, and I'm accepting that it being great was all that it was - I'm not expecting you to suddenly fall in love with me and I'm certainly not about to fall in love with you." She reached out to touch Setsuna's chin, and lifted it - with some difficulty - so that the other girl had to look at her. "But I do care about you, and I want you to start forgiving yourself, okay?"

"... thank you, Asakura-san."

"Eh, call me Kazumi."

"... Asakuchi?"

"Seriously, call me Kazumi. Anyway, we'd better get to class, and start thinking up a really good excuse for why we're so late," she said, turning to head down the corridor.

Fate was standing in front of them. "Class has been over for some time now," he announced quietly.

Setsuna and Asakura froze. (Not literally.)

"The sheer amount of detention you two have just incurred beggars belief," he added.

* * *

"That guy is definitely going down," Asakura declared as she wrote "I will not cut Mr. Fate's class ever again" in English, over and over again on the board.

"What is a dunce, anyway?" Setsuna asked as she sat in the corner wearing a rather ridiculous-looking hat.

* * *

Just as even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea, even the longest detention eventually comes to an end, and having spent far more time in each others company than they truly wished, Setsuna and Kazumi parted company with a shot wave rather than any more effusive farewells. Setsuna's thoughts were elsewhere, anyway, having returned to the question of the future.

Despite the fact that she had lately demonstrated that she could and would seize the initiative, she was inclined to minimize that as a momentary aberration. For the most part, she felt like she was just going along with the flow, rather than making her own way towards the future that everyone else seemed to have a good idea about. What sort of worthless friend did that make her to -

Okay, in the interest of brevity, let's just do the highlights, shall we?

"Nooo!" Setsuna groaned. "That isn't a future! It's not even a delusion! Just a sick fantasy! What is wrong with -" At this point in her self castigation, she realized that she was not alone.

"You are soooo stupid," said Evangeline as she put her in a rather complicated shoulder lock. "You don't even know what's going on with them, do you?"

"Oh, hey, Eva-chan," said Asuna as she and Negi walked up. "Having fun with Setsuna, huh?"

"My disciples," Evangeline announced a few moments later in the resort. "We shall have a final lesson together."

Magical battle ensued.

"You mean, Negi-sensei has become an immortal monster, like Evangeline?" Setsuna asked, startled.

"Kind of early to say for sure, but pretty much yeah," said Rakan, as he, Eishun and Albireo watched on.

"It is soooo cool," gloated Godel.

"You are a such a jerk," snapped Takamichi.

"At least there's going to be plenty of girls to look after him, even if I'm not there to do it," said Asuna as she leaped down do join the battle.

"Wait, what do you mean, 'if I'm not there to do it'?" asked Setsuna, just a little too late for Asuna to answer.

"Oh, I guess you didn't know about the whole thing where she's going to go to sleep for a hundred years to save the Magical World then?" asked Albireo.

The fight looked to be over and the combatants were of course quite naked as Setsuna jumped down and stormed over to slap Asuna across the face. "Why didn't you tell me?" she cried.

"... sorry," Asuna said.

"Is it just me, or is that a bit more of a passionate embrace than you'd expect of two best friends?" asked Eishun, frowning a bit.

"You really want to talk about that?" asked Albireo. Rakan was too busy leering to say anything.

"It's probably just the heat of the moment," said Kazumi.

"... when did you get here?" asked Takahata, startled.

"A while ago."

* * *

Asuna had occasionally found herself wondering why, since Evangeline was well-documented for hating the sun, she had bothered to give her resort a relatively normal day-night cycle. It would surely have been simpler to just have it night all the time, so that she could be comfortable. When she'd asked Negi about it, he'd opined that she did that for the comfort of her guests, because Evangeline was actually a very, very good and kind person. While agreeing in principle, Asuna had developed the suspicion that Evangeline had simply been too lazy to fiddle around with the settings like that. (Either that, or she liked the sun more than she was willing to admit - or at least, liked _sleeping_ in the sun, like a cat.)

Regardless of her reasons, that false night had fallen in the resort shortly after they'd gotten all the mess from the aborted duel cleaned up. ("They", here, referred to Negi and Asuna, assisted by some of Chachamaru's sisters. Further evidence for the 'just plain lazy' hypothesis had been given by the way Evangeline had sauntered off despite having made most of the mess.) And now Asuna was enjoying a quiet mug of hot cocoa as she stood on one of the castle's balconies, overlooking the battlefield.

She heard a footstep behind her and turned. "You calmed down, now?" she asked Setsuna.

Setsuna nodded. "Does ojousama know?"

Asuna flinched slightly, then answered, "Yes. I told her, well, that night. Don't go getting mad at her for -"

"I'm not going to do that," Setsuna interjected.

"Well, good."

"I'm still kind of mad at you, though," she added.

"That's okay."

"And I still think running away and cutting down anyone who dares to stand in our path is a perfectly valid alternate plan," she continued, a little defensively.

"... okay, that's not so much okay, and stop acting like a homicidal maniac when I go to some trouble to tell people that you aren't one."

Setsuna pouted momentarily. "That isn't what I came here to tell you about. Um. I don't know quite how to tell you this ... but Asakura knows."

"Well, yeah, of course she knows, she was standing about ten feet away from you when you asked the creepy pervert about the situation," Asuna replied, baffled that Setsuna felt the need to tell her this.

"No, no, no." Setsuna rubbed her head. "I mean, she knows about ..." She waved her hand vaguely.

"... she knows about Evangeline's secret stash of really good cocoa?" Asuna asked, genuinely mystified.

"Nyargh."

Once she was again calm enough to use her words, Setsuna spoke quickly and clearly. "Asakura knows about Negi-sensei and his sexual adventures with you, and me, and ojousama, and Chisame-san."

Asuna gaped. "What? How did she -" The gape turned into an annoyed expression. "You told her, didn't you," she accused, rather than asked.

"No!" Setsuna protested. "She'd already figured it out somehow and wormed the confirmation out of me with her wily reporter tactics!"

"Did she show up in disguise?" Asuna asked, suspicious.

"Well, no," Setsuna admitted.

"So you'll admit that she didn't actually have to bring her A-game, then?"

"It's useless to dwell on the past!" Setsuna said, using another one of the conversational stratagems Mana had suggested to her. From the look on Asuna's face, she suspected this one wasn't working as well as the 'homicidal joke' had. "What matters is what we do now. She, she said that she wouldn't tell anyone else, and I _think_ I persuaded her that we weren't really doing anything wrong, but -"

"How did you do that?" Asuna interrupted. Then, before Setsuna could really get down to the important business of hesitating and carefully choosing her words, she guessed. "Setsuna! Is _that_ what you were doing while you were cutting class today?" she asked, stunned.

"... whimper," Setsuna whimpered, inwardly mourning the unfairness which allowed Asuna to use 'that' in a way which appeared to be beyond Setsuna herself.

Asuna gaped ... then startled laughing. "Oh, oh, wow, Setsuna, wow!" she managed to express coherently. Eventually, she stopped, drew a deep breath, and soberly mused, "Oh, what have we wrought? We have unwittingly unleashed a terrible threat to girls' chastity." And _then_ she started laughing again.

"It isn't _that_ funny!" Setsuna groaned.

"Oh, it is, it is," Asuna said, but she'd calmed down somewhat and only let out a few more chuckles as she regarded Setsuna. "Okay," she said. "So, Asakura says she isn't going to tell anyone, and you rocked her world. What's the problem, then?"

"The problem is, after that, she came _here_," Setsuna explained, setting aside her bruised feelings for the moment. "I thought it was over, but she's clearly still taking an interest in the way things are developing."

"Well, that's what she does," Asuna said, shaking her head. "There's probably nothing to worry about, she won't be able to get near Negi with him probably having a long talk with Eva-chan."

"... but Evangeline-san said she wanted to have some privacy after her duel, and left you to your own devices," Setsuna observed.

"She did?" Asuna asked, surprised. "When'd that happen?"

"... while you were fixing the damage."

"Um ... I guess I wasn't really paying attention. But, I mean, the elder, and Rakan, and the creepy pervert and Takahata-sensei and that jerkass Goedel are probably talking to him, so ... he won't ... go off with her ... like he does ... whenever a girl asks him to do anything ..." Asuna slowed down as she considered her own words.

"We should find them?" Setsuna suggested.

"We should find them," Asuna agreed.

* * *

They walked together through the forest section of Evangeline's resort complex. It was an ancient, old growth forest, dense with yew trees that might have first flourished before the birth of Christ, along with oaks, ash, holly and hawthorn, all carefully transplanted from a Europe that no longer existed except in Evangeline's memories. Even in brightest daylight, it was dim beneath their boughs. In evening, as now, it called to mind stories of little girls dressed in red hoods and big bad wolves. Once upon a time, they hadn't just been stories, and the forest remembered that. Negi imagined that Evangeline liked to remember that too.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" he asked Asakura as she walked a little ahead of him, her arms crossed behind her back.

"Nothing in particular," she said, looking back at him with a cheerful grin. She apparently saw some sort of disbelief on his face in response to that, for her grin grew bigger. "What? Can't a girl have a nice little chat with a good friend of hers without an agenda?"

"I'm sure that a non-specific girl can," Negi agreed. "However, you're not a non-specific girl."

"True dat," she agreed. "Well, I suppose I do have one or two or just a few things I'd like to ask. Mostly to do with this." She gestured at his grown-up form.

"It should wear off in a few months, they say," Negi answered with a shrug. "So it won't really have any long-term impact on my life. I hope not, at least."

"Except for the part where you're an immortal -" She broke off, then clearly substituted for a certain word. "- _person_, which means that if you don't take those pills, you'll never get to be a grown-up for real. But taking them does this to you."

"We don't know that for sure," Negi said smoothly.

"And Evangeline-san isn't proof enough?"

"My case and hers are different in many ways. We don't know for sure," he repeated. "We won't know that for a few years."

She shook her head. "Okay. I don't know know if I like that foolish optimism of yours or not, but okay. What about in the short term?"

"In the short term ... I can't teach here while this is my situation," Negi admitted. "Well, obviously I _can_, but ... there's Ako-san to be considered. It would be cruel. And of course, there would be the difficulty of developing a cover story more resilient than 'I'm Negi's cousin Nagi' and ensuring that I keep to it and everyone else does. The complexity boggles the mind. So Fate is going to be teaching all of you for quite some time to come."

"That's the worst news I've ever gotten," Asakura announced.

"I believe that the class and he can eventually become friends," he said. "Eventually. With great effort on both sides."

"There's that foolish optimism again. What about your life beyond the school?"

"The project won't be affected, and -"

"What about _your_ life?" she repeated and emphasized.

He looked away, then looked at her. "... you know, don't you?"

She blinked, genuinely surprised at him figuring it out, but covered it with a smile. "I have my sources, which a good reporter will never reveal -"

"Setsuna-san and, I'm guessing really, one of the employees from the suit store?"

"Take all the fun out of it, why don't you?" she asked, throwing her notebook over her shoulder. "Okay, down to brass tacks. What's going on, Negi-kun?"

"I'm honestly not sure how to explain it. The first time it happened, with Asuna, it just sort of ... happened. I think I made the first move, but ... I suppose that doesn't really matter."

"Actually, it sort of makes sense," Asakura mused aloud, leaning back against one of the trees. "You're a little more aggressive when you're in this grown up form. Hormones, I guess."

Negi didn't really pay any attention to that. "The other times, it was actually more their idea than mine, but ... I could have said no, and I didn't. I didn't want to say no. And it felt ... very, very good. Better than casting a new spell for the first time does - welllll." He hesitated. "Maybe not _quite_ that good."

"And of course, we've always been dealing with a pretty messed-up libido, here," she murmured. Raising her voice, she continued. "They wanted it more than you did, though?"

"Well, Chisame did, but, well, with her - you know how she is."

"Yes, I guess that I do, at that. It's funny, actually. She and I are a lot alike, when you get right down to it?"

"Eh?" Negi said, blinking in surprise.

Asakura's eyes were distant, now. "We were both always on the outside, looking in ... not so much with envy, really, but more with an awareness that no matter how much I'd want to be, I couldn't be a part of the fun times everyone else was having. Because nobody trusted me. Because everyone would always think I had an agenda."

Quite abruptly, Negi's hands were on her shoulders, and he was facing her with a look of grief and shame that quite startled her. "Kazumi-san! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it that way!"

She blinked, then remembered, somewhat belatedly, how this whole conversation had gotten started. "It's, it's okay," she assured him.

"I do trust you!" he said. "I'd trust you with my life, if it came to that!"

_Again with the not paying attention,_ she thought, but it was nearly drowned out by the roaring sound in her mind, the sensation of his face so close to her own, the scent of him flowing up his nostrils. Had he not bathed since the thing with Chisame? It wouldn't surprise her terribly.

_Aw, hell with it,_ she decided at last. _There was only one way this was ever going to end, wasn't there?_

She removed any separation between their faces, and pushed further. Fully conscious of the fact that he could easily have stopped her if he wanted, she took a certain pleasure in the way that she pushed him to the forest floor and crouched above him.

"K-Kazumi-san?" he said, once his lips were free. "You too? B-but I thought you -"

"Yeah, I know," she said, while her fingers fiddled with his belt buckle. "Or I mean I don't know. I loved what Setchi did, but does that mean I only go that way? Who knows? But what the hell, right? If nothing else, it'll make a hell of a story for my memoirs." The pants were undone, and pulled down enough to expose the monster, at which she smiled tenderly. "How my sexy tough teacher spoiled me for all other men," she speculated as she rubbed it, as she'd heard you were supposed to do.

"Eh? But I don't -"

"Well, I guess we're going to see," she said, letting go just long enough to pull her panties aside. And then she mounted him, and hissed at the mild pain. "Ohhhh, wowwww!" she half-cried, half-exulted, before reaching down to yank her top up and expose the fourth-largest breasts in the class to his wondering eyes.

And wondering tongue as well, for she promptly seized hold of his shoulders and pulled him up to hold his face against her. He obliged her by taking her nipple into his mouth as she rocked back and forth atop him, knees crushing into the fallen leaves covering the ground and the tips of her sneakers carving holes in the soil.

Asakura's fox-like eyes slammed shut as the sensations she was feeling shrieked up her spine to the pleasure centers of her brain. "Oh shit!" she cried to the heavens, or at least those parts of them vaguely visible through the tree coverage, not to mention the tiny slit through which her eyes were able to see. "Oh shit, you're so _big_!"

"Language," Negi managed to get out as he moved from one of those full breasts to another.

That got her eyes open. "_Language?_" she half-way laughed, half-way shrieked.

He shrugged in response, since he couldn't really talk at the moment.

"Bad, bad teacher!" she laughed as she pounded down even harder, thrilling at feeling so full. Well, it was only natural. Even though Negi's dick wasn't one of the foot-long, wrist-wide monstrosities so beloved by hentai artists and fanfiction authors who were either compensating for something or pandering to those who needed to do so, it was still wider than the hairbrush handle she'd shoved up herself once when she'd been _very_ horny a couple of years ago. That had ended in blood and tears, and this was soooo much better.

"So great!" she vocalized those thoughts. "You are so great at this, Negi-kun!"

"'m not really doing that much," he opined.

"Who cares, if I say you're great then you're great! Why shouldn't you be great at this, just like you are at everything else! Oh, holy holy holy, I love this! I lugh ooo!" she cried, then blinked as she realized that his hand was over her mouth.

Negi actually blushed when she turned her startled gaze down towards him. "Sorry. Reflex." He clapped a hand over his own mouth. "Uh lugh oo tuh," he mumbled apologetically.

She shook her head and laughed some more, that happy, carefree sound that he really did love, he realized. Even if she wasn't his greatest passion, he truly did admire that spirit. And that smile of hers, sweet but just a little mischievous, made his own heart sing a little. Oh, no, wait, that wasn't his heart that was singing, it was something else, and he recognized the tune. "Uh, coming, coming," he told her.

Kazumi hesitated. The primal woman in her yearned to feel his release within herself, but it was drowned out by a _slightly_ more sensible aspect of her own nature. With one last rock, she pulled back and off of him, seizing the meat stick and jerking it hard. Only a few strokes were needed to unleash his load onto her stomach and her panties.

"So naughty," she said, between gasps. "So naughty."

"Yes, I think so too," said a voice from behind her.

Asakura slowly turned to look in that direction, and flinched when she saw that the girl in the Peaceful Angel shirt didn't look all that peaceful at the moment. "Um ... how, how long have you been there?" she asked.

"Why did I know that would be your first question?" Asuna groused.

"Um, A-Asuna?" Negi stammered.

"For the record," she said as she reached down with both hands and began yanking her shirt up her sides, "I've been huh sus -" That spoken as the shirt came up over her mouth, momentarily obstructing her words. "- 'bad, bad teacher," she concluded, shirt dropping to the forest floor as her hands went behind her back to start working at the fastener of her bra.

"What. The heck. Are you doing?" Asakura slowly asked.

Asuna gave her the Look. Normally it would have been something of a relief to Negi to see someone else getting the Look, but the circumstances prevented that. "Bad, bad girl reporter!" Asuna said in faux-cheerful tone. "Doing all that to Negi and not having any orgasms yourself!" That spoken as she yanked up the sides of her skirt to expose her panties.

"What?" Asakura gasped. "I, I did! I had one as soon as he put it in, and a couple more afterwards, they just weren't, you know, terribly noisy or anything." The situation was so bizarre that she found nothing strange about turning to look down at Negi and ask, in a somewhat panicked tone, "You know I really liked that, right, Sensei?"

It said something rather unfortunate about Negi's lifestyle that this was not the strangest conversation he'd ever had. "Well, I think so," he said, hesitantly. Then, since Asuna was still giving the Look in their general direction even as she skinned down her panties, he felt obliged to add, "But I'm often wrong about these things."

Asakura's face didn't so much fall as collapse into an incredulous pout - which itself dissolved into a rather startled expression that was a surprisingly rare sight on her face, as she felt Asuna pressing against her back and the other girl's right hand wrapping around her left breast. "Indeed," Asuna stage-whispered right into her ear. "It's no good unless you get a lot of screaming orgasms. Fortunately, Negi here can go for _hours_!"

"Hours?" Asakura squeaked. She'd noticed that his hard-on hadn't gone down, but attributed that to the fact that she was still holding it. And now, also Asuna's other hand, no, wait, both her hands were down there, but one of them was pressing up against her ohhhhhhh.

"So can I," Asuna added.

Asakura wasn't sure whether she should be terrified or really really turned on.

* * *

Elsewhere, the eternal child, Evangeline Athanasia Ekaterina McDowell, sat with one leg thrown up over the armrest of her golden throne, the words "Königin Dunkelheit" in ebony letters on its back just over her head, staring into a tiny glowing ball which hovered in mid-air.

"Well," she said. "Well, well, well. My pupils have apparently been pursuing some independent study. How ... nice. I will just have to do something about this. Yes. Yes, I will." And then she began to laugh.

It was not a pleasant sound to hear.

"Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha!"

See? Painful to even read, wouldn't you agree?

**To Be Continued**


End file.
